Charlie's Journal
by LemonSupreme
Summary: Immediately following the show's finale, Charlie begins to journal about her adventures... We'll follow her as she fights Patriots with Miles and Bass, deals with loss, learns the true value of family, and discovers that Monroe means a lot more than she'd ever guessed he could. This is a blackout fic - Charloe of course. For the GoodShipCharloe's "One Year" Challenge...
1. Chapter 1

**July 25, 2029**

My name is Charlotte Matheson and I am twenty-three years old. Shit. What else do I say? I don't remember much about electricity or anything before the blackout. What I do remember feels more like a dream than reality. I remember cartoons and cold air inside houses and pink ballet slippers and ice cream.

I've never kept a journal before and I have no idea if I'll write it this thing very often. It was a birthday present from Aaron. He reminded me that back in Wisconsin I loved to write. That's been a while. A lot has happened since Wisconsin.

My Dad was killed in Wisconsin. That was right before we left. Danny died not long after. Militia killed them both. Militia. I hated them. I still hate them, except they don't really exist anymore. Nuked a year ago by the god-damned Patriots. If I hate any group of people more than I hate Militia, it's Patriots.

Monroe used to lead the Republic and the Militia. For a long time, he and my uncle Miles ran the Republic together. Not that you'd know it to see either of them now. As I write this under the light of a setting sun, the former leaders of the Monroe Republic are having an honest to God pissing contest. Clearly, they've had a little more whiskey than is advisable.

Monroe wins by about six inches, or so he says. This irritates my uncle, but it doesn't take long before all is forgotten. It's strange really, watching them together. When I first met Miles, he was hiding from Monroe. Then for a while, he wanted to kill him. Texas did the honors – executing Monroe as part of a big public spectacle. I didn't like Monroe back then, but even I thought it was too much. Besides we needed his help. My Mom, who hates Monroe more than anybody, actually ended up saving him. After Monroe was resurrected, he and my uncle started to get along a little better.

It wasn't until a couple months ago that things really changed though. Miles asked Monroe to help him kidnap the Patriot president. Miles put a lot of faith in Monroe that day. Not everyone thought Monroe would follow through, but he did. Ever since then, those two have been slowly working their way back to a friendship – a real one.

Sometimes, watching them together makes me feel like I'm looking back through time. When they are laughing and teasing each other, they are at their happiest. It makes me wish I'd known them before the world went dark. In some ways, I bet they haven't changed at all. Miles was probably just as snarky and sarcastic as he is now. Monroe was probably just as smooth and charming and sexy.

Shit. Sexy? Don't know why I said that. I don't think Monroe is sexy. I barely tolerate him. I'm certainly not noticing how tight his ass is or the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. No. Not even a little bit. Mostly, if I think of him at all, I think he's annoying.

For example, just now he asked what I'm doing. I said writing in my journal. He scooted over like I was going to let him read it. I told him to take a hike. He laughed, asking if I was writing about him.

"Why would she be writing about you?" Miles asks. "You're a douche."

"A douche who just kicked your ass in a pissing contest. Don't forget."

"Doesn't mean shit." Miles grumbles.

"Means my dick is bigger."

"First of all, size doesn't matter."

Bass cackles, "That's what guys with little dicks say."

"Secondly, the fact that you peed farther than me, means nothing."

"Except that my dick is bigger."

"Thirdly, your dick isn't bigger."

"Eww." I interrupted. "I so do not need to know how you know whose dick is bigger."

"We've been friends since first grade. We have no secrets."

"Just stop." I yelled, but by now I'm laughing too. Hanging out with these two is like being a kid again, which is weird because earlier today we were in the midst of a battle. Nobody was acting like a kid then. In fact, I killed four Patriots while the guys were fighting off some others on the far side of some trees. We'd been separated and ambushed. It wasn't a good scenario.

Monroe came running through the trees as soon as he could. He had his swords ready, and his eyes were wild. He surveyed the bodies lying on the ground at my feet and the way blood was spattered in my hair and on my clothes. "You killed em all?" He looked both impressed and relieved.

"Well, yeah. What else was I supposed to do with em?"

"Nah, you did good, Charlie." He'd grinned at me then and it was probably the Texas heat, but I felt this weird clenching in my gut. "Real good."

I like how he doesn't call me Kid. Miles still does, but Monroe doesn't. I'm not a kid. It's nice that someone realizes it, even if it is just Monroe.

I wonder about my Mom sometimes. And Aaron. They left Texas shortly after the war started. Something about the Nano. I really don't know. I don't even care as long as everyone comes home safe. While they're off chasing answers out west, I'm left with these two buffoons. Well, Grandpa is here too, but he keeps to himself mostly. He never has really approved of Miles or Monroe. I go see him when I can, but it's not often. Most of the time it's just me and the guys – killing or drinking. Sometimes we take a break, but the breaks are few and far between.

Luckily, the action is dying down. Miles said once the war would be over by the end of the summer. It might take a little longer than that, but he's probably not off by much. For now, we just keep doing what we do best – wiping the floor with Patriot ass.

You know what? It's amazing that these idiots ever ran anything bigger than a lemonade stand together. Just now I heard Miles say something about a snake. Monroe jumped up and danced around like he was having a seizure. Miles was trying to act tough, but clearly he was antsy too.

I put down my pen and this book and walked over to them.

"I hate snakes!" Monroe whined, glancing at the ground nervously.

"Not my favorite either." Miles admitted, standing on a rock.

I just shook my head. "I watched you guys gut Patriots today like it was nothing, and a little snake has you all hot and bothered? Jesus."

"Shut up, kid." Miles says. "Maybe climb up here on this rock with me where it's safe."

"I'm not a kid, and for the record, I know whose dick is bigger."

"Oh yeah?" Monroe asks.

With that, I bent over and stabbed the stupid snake, holding it up on the end of my knife where it squirmed until it was still. "Mine. Mine is bigger."

* * *

 **August 8, 2029**

Miles got hurt today. He'll be fine, though to hear Miles bitch about it, that's almost hard to believe. A Patriot jumped him and cut a gash in his thigh that's about fourteen inches long. Grandpa stitched him up and gave his some antibiotics.

The Patriot didn't get off so easily. Antibiotics and stitches won't help him at all.

* * *

 **August 22, 2019**

Miles is better. Thank God. He was driving us all crazy with his whining. Monroe threatened to cut out his tongue if Miles didn't shut up. I'm not totally convinced he was joking.

I miss Aaron. I hope he's okay. My mom too obviously, and Priscilla. They've been gone three months now and we have no idea what's going on, or if they are okay, or even if they are still alive.

The skirmishes with Patriots are getting to be fairly rare. We've heard that a ship full of them was seen leaving the port in Savannah. Rumor is they've turned tail and are going back to Cuba.

Good riddance, I say. Hope they never come back.

Monroe surprised me yesterday. He's been pestering me about this journal, always asking what I write about. I won't tell him of course – nosey son of a bitch, but I have taken to keeping it tucked in my back waistband so he can't snatch it while I'm not looking.

Anyway, he figured out through one of our conversations that I love to read and used to do it a lot. Yesterday I was roasting a rabbit on a spit and he plopped down a package next to me. Inside were three books. I've not read any of them before and can't wait to start. He said he found them in an abandoned house and figured maybe I'd like to give them a try. I said sure. It's funny. When Monroe smiles, you kind of forget all the stuff he used to do…all the stuff he's capable of. That smile…well, it's nice.

The books he brought me are "Diary of Anne Frank", "Gone With the Wind", and "Slaughterhouse Five." He said he's only read the Slaughterhouse one (go figure), but that he remembers it being good. I'm going to start that one tonight.

Miles says there's been some Patriots spotted out west of Arnette, so we're on the move again. So much for that intel about Savannah. Shit. Was really hoping that was true.

* * *

 **A/N: This story will be a series of short-ish chapters. Charlie won't update her journal every day and some entries will be a lot longer than others. This story will be told through Charlie's eyes exclusively and will show us how things (including her feelings about Monroe) progress for the first year after the show's finale. There will be some sad parts and some funny parts and yes, there will be smut. You're welcome. Leave a comment if you have a minute.**


	2. Chapter 2

**August 30, 2029**

Frank Blanchard made an appearance last night. He does that whenever he wants us to do a little something extra. Technically, we work for him as scouts – well, we work for Texas, but he gives the orders.

It was late and we were ready to turn in. He came tromping into our camp like he owned the place. He's a strange guy and I don't like the way he looks at me at all. I always feel like I need to bathe after he visits.

Miles and Bass were discussing the details of Frank's latest 'special assignment'. I thought the old guy had already left, but then out of nowhere he was right behind me – with his hand on my ass.

"Aren't you just a tasty little morsel?" He leaned in close and his breath smelled like cigars and garlic.

"Don't touch me." I said. I kept my voice quiet. No need to make a scene.

"Ah, don't play hard to get, Little Matheson. I'd make it worth your while."

I started to say something in response but he went weirdly still. I looked back and saw Monroe was there, with his sword pressed firmly between Blanchard's thighs. "Step away from her or I'll remove your nuts one at a time." His voice sounded conversational, but his eyes glittered with rage.

Blanchard's hands moved away from me with lightning speed, and he took a very slow step backward, with his legs spread awkwardly. "Sorry. Sorry. Don't know what I was thinking."

"I'd wager you weren't thinking at all." Bass said, moving to stand between me and Blanchard. "You don't ever touch her, Frank. Don't even look at her."

"Fine. Fine. Jesus." Blanchard chuckled nervously. "Message received." He'd walked off then.

Monroe turned to face me, "You okay?"

"Yeah. Didn't really need any help. I could have taken care of him."

"I know that." He said. "Sometimes you stand up for people even if they can take care of themselves."

"Oh."

We just looked at each other then. I don't know how to explain it, but sometimes it feels like he's looking into my soul. Kind of unsettling to be honest. Makes my stomach flutter a bit.

* * *

 **September 2, 2029**

Miles and I have been staking out this old farm south of Austen as part of Blanchard's special assignment for the last two days. Monroe has been gathering intel in a small town nearby. We haven't seen anything yet on our stakeout, but supposedly Patriots are using this place as a safe house.

"Stupid fucking Patriots." Miles muttered. "I am too old for all this cloak and dagger shit."

"What's so hard about lying around and watching a house?"

"You mean other than the bugs?" he swats at a mosquito.

"Yeah, so what? We mostly live outdoors. We're used to bugs. How is this any different?"

"Just don't know why I'm stuck up here while Bass is down in that town boozing and whoring for the sake of Texas." Miles looks decidedly grouchy.

"Wait… I thought Monroe was getting information for us?"

"Yeah, from bartenders and hookers and the like. Lucky jerk."

I punched him in the arm, "I'm sure Mom would love to hear that you are wishing for some time with hookers."

"Shit, Charlie. That's not what I meant, but I'd much rather be sitting in a bar then lying up here in the damn dirt. That's all."

"Whatever." I muttered. I don't know why, but after that, the whole stakeout thing wasn't nearly as fun as I thought it was previously. By the time we rendezvoused with Monroe later that night, I was in an awful mood.

Miles and Monroe talked for a while, comparing notes. Monroe had found out a few things that might be helpful. After they'd wrapped up their little meeting, he came over to talk to me. "Brought you something." He said.

"Let me guess," I muttered. "Syphilis?"

He looked surprised, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Miles told me you've been hanging out with hookers the whole time we were up in those hills being eaten to death by mosquitoes."

Monroe's surprise turned into something else. He smirked at me and that just made me madder. "What's wrong Charlotte? Jealous? You wishing you were being eaten by something other than mosquitoes?" He moved in a little too close, his breath hot on my cheek.

"No. That is NOT what I was saying."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better – I wasn't getting any more action than you were. Mostly I sat at a bar, talking to some bartender who was old enough to be my Grandma."

"Oh." I was a little breathless for some reason. He hadn't bothered to move away.

"Aren't you going to ask?"

"Ask what?" I must have been really tired. My brain was mush.

"What I brought you?"

"What did you bring me?"

"Two things." He held out two packages. One was much smaller than the other.

I took them both. The weight and size of the bigger package made me think it was a book – a big one. I opened it first. "The Stand?" I looked at him questioningly.

"Yeah. It's really good. I read this one a couple times, though it's been a while. You're gonna like it. It's sort of an end of the world type story."

"So non-fiction?" I teased him.

He laughed, shaking his head no.

"Well, thanks." I smiled then, suddenly not as irritated as I had been. "And this one?"

He shrugged, looking off at the sunset. "There was this peddler in town. I was trying to get some info from him and he wouldn't talk unless I bought something. This reminded me of you."

I opened the small package carefully. Inside was a necklace. A small arrow shaped pendent hung from a simple silver chain. "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is." And then he walked back over to Miles before I could even say thank you.

* * *

 **September 19, 2019**

So today was weird. Miles, Monroe and I had gone to Willoughby for a much needed R&R break. We all needed to clean up, get a real meal and some fresh clothes. I visited my Grandpa and then met the guys for dinner at the bar down on Hickory Street. We were eating and talking and then Miles went really still. "Bass." He said, his voice tense and his eyes on the door.

Monroe turned, and then he froze too.

I was the last one to look at the door and then all three of us were just staring like idiots. Connor was back. Gone for months without a word and Bam! He's back.

I stood and was headed over to say hello, but Miles grabbed my wrist hard, "Not so fast, Kid."

"What am I missing?"

Monroe stood slowly, and I noticed he was holding a gun in his hand and it was pointed right at Connor. Monroe's eyes were glued to his son, but he answered me. "Last time we met, Connor tried to kill me."

"What?" I was shocked. "Why?"

Connor walked in slowly, his hands raised. "It's a long story, Charlie. I was pissed and…" he looks at his Dad, "I'm sorry. I'm here to apologize and maybe start over."

Miles was standing by then too, also with a gun pointed at Connor, "Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

They all talked and argued for a while and I was pretty sure Miles was going to kill Connor but in the end there was a truce of sorts. Connor had some crazy stories about Neville losing his mind and talking to Jason's ghost. I can't lie. That bit stung. I left for a while so that I could get my bearings. I hate being reminded of Jason. His death will haunt me forever.

By the time I got back, things were tense but civil. Connor moved over to sit by me. "So, you seeing anybody?"

Miles snorted and Monroe just watched us with a really weird look in his eye.

"No, and not gonna start now." I told him. He left it alone but I have a feeling he's gonna come sniffing around again. Connor always did think that thing in Vegas was more than what it was. I tried to be nice about it, but it might be time for not being nice. We'll see.

* * *

 **September 26, 2029**

I couldn't sleep tonight, so went for a walk. Our Willoughby vacation, as Miles calls it, is about over. We'll be on the trail again next week, scouting for Texas once again. It's been weird sleeping in a house after getting used to living under the stars. I miss it, to be honest.

I wandered for a while. I didn't have any destination in mind – just wanted to clear my head so I could go back and sleep. Connor is joining us on this next mission, and I don't know how I feel about it. I am glad that he and Monroe seem to be working through their issues, but sometimes Connor bugs me. I know Miles feels the same way.

"Hey."

I whirl at the sound of a voice not far behind me. Monroe is there. "You scared me."

"Obviously. You should pay more attention. I could have been a bad guy."

"You were a bad guy for a long time."

He chuckled, "True. Glad you at least are using past tense."

"Well, for now anyway."

"You okay with Connor coming along?"

I hesitated, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"Maybe you are more than okay with him joining us?" he frowned. "Do we need to bring along a tent so you two can have some privacy?"

I shot him a dirty look. "It's not like that. Listen, I don't know if I'm okay with him coming along or not. I guess I need to see how he fights with us. I've come to trust you guys and I feel like I know what you're both thinking when we're in the middle of it…"

"But Connor?"

"I don't feel like I know him at all."

Monroe smirked, "Seemed to me like you knew him pretty well in New Vegas."

That was it. I'd had it. "Jesus, Monroe! Haven't you ever screwed someone once and regretted it? Am I the only damn person who's ever done that? Can we go one god-damned day without you acting like I want to jump Connor's bones? " I turned away from him and was stomping off when he jogged up behind me and grabbed my arm.

"What?" I demanded, turning back to face him. He was too close, but he wasn't letting go.

"I'm sorry." He said, and he looked sorry. He reached up and pushed some hair out of my eyes. His touch was very gentle. "I'm really sorry."

I wasn't even sure if we were still talking about his insinuations about Connor or if we were now talking about something else. My heart was beating fast and I swear he could hear it. He released me slowly and took a step back. His eyes looked sad. "Good night Charlotte."

And then he was gone and I walked home alone.

* * *

 **A/N Comments make me update faster. Just sayn.**


	3. Chapter 3

**October 14, 2029**

So there I was, pinned to the ground with some fat and filthy war clansman hovering over me. In one hand he held a dagger to my throat. He was using the other to unfasten his pants. My gut was twisting with dread and anger. This dirty creep had his knees on my arms and was sitting on my stomach so I could barely inhale. Panic was setting in, when out of the blue, a huge bloody blade emerged from the middle of the guy's chest. He had time to look down at it in shock before the blade twisted. Blood was spurting everywhere as he fell dead. Of course he fell right on top of me, but I was able to wriggle out from under his body.

I looked up, expecting to see Monroe or Miles. I knew they were both nearby. But no. This time my savior was none other than Connor Bennett. He just stood there, watching me with this cocky smile that made me think of his Dad.

"Thanks." I panted, finally able to gasp in some much needed air.

"Anytime." He'd said, as if he saved my life every day.

So Connor isn't so bad, I guess. I am not yet as comfortable with him in battle as I am with Monroe or Miles, but he'll do.

* * *

 **October 15, 2029**

Monroe has been kind of pissy ever since Connor started fighting with us. I thought he'd be happy to see that his kid is a chip off the old block, but instead he frowns and kicks things.

So, I'm avoiding Monroe and that is easier than I'd figured it would be because Connor has been keeping me entertained. The thing is, Connor grows on you a little bit when you are forced to hang out with him for extended periods of time. He's funny in an 'aw shucks' kind of way, but he also has a dark streak too, which is somewhat appealing.

Sometimes I wish I was attracted to Connor. I think it would make everything easier. The thing is… I'm just not. And it's not just that the sex in New Vegas wasn't great (although that is true – was pretty bad to be honest). It's also that there's just nothing there. My heart doesn't beat faster when I see him. I don't have dreams about his touch. I don't wonder where he is when I haven't seen him for a while. I never wonder who he's with.

See? Nothing there.

Connor and I will only ever be friends. I know it and he knows it (finally after much persuading). I don't think Miles and Monroe have figured it out yet. Miles is snarky and sarcastic about it when he teases us about being involved. Monroe has started ignoring us completely if we are together, only talking to each of us one on one.

At first Connor and I went out of our way to point out that we're not a couple. I don't think they'll ever believe it so we've given up. Let them think what they will.

Day by day, Monroe is getting testier. He's short tempered and quiet. I've caught him watching me talk to Connor a few times. He never looks happy. Connor is getting a kick out of it all actually. Is it bad that part of me is enjoying this too? It's almost like Monroe is jealous. I remember getting that same vibe from him in New Vegas. That time, it didn't feel good because I felt guilty.

This time, I have nothing to feel guilty about. I do wonder though…what is it about Monroe being jealous that gets me all hot and bothered?

There's no way that I actually have a thing for Monroe, is there? Not so long ago, I would have said absolutely not. Now? I'm not so sure. Shit.

* * *

 **October 24, 2029**

I hate her. I hate her so much that when I see her, it takes everything I have not to rip her hair out by the roots. Her name is Stephanie. She is a Texas Ranger and she's part of the regiment that we scout for. One day she came to our camp with some bullshit excuse to talk to Miles and Monroe.

Then she came back the next day. Now she's here every damn day, drooling after Monroe like a dog in heat. He was sort of indifferent at first, but now he's smiling and flirting and letting her touch him and I want to scream at her to keep her damn hands to herself.

In other news, I guess I do have a thing for Monroe. Clearly I'm the biggest idiot. He thinks I'm just a stupid kid, especially when compared to Stephanie. She's older and incredibly beautiful. She has long black hair and big green eyes. She's almost as tall as Monroe. I heard Miles say she's 'sex on a stick'.

Have I mentioned that I hate her? I am civil on the outside, but on the inside I'm hoping a tree falls on her head. A big one.

* * *

 **October 26, 2029**

I don't think I can take it anymore. I might tell Miles I'm going to quit scouting. Maybe I could move back to Willoughby and live with Grandpa? I haven't decided yet, but I have to do something. If I have to watch Monroe and Stephanie sneak off into the woods one more time…. I will lose it completely.

Maybe I just need some fresh air. I'm going for a swim.

* * *

 **October 26, 2029 PART TWO**

I just got back from a swim in this natural spring that's not far away. When I got back, Connor was waiting for me. "You're an idiot." He said.

"What the hell?" I smiled at him because I thought he was just teasing me, but then he thrust this journal at me, smacking me in the chest with it none too gently. My stomach rolled with apprehension. "Connor – you didn't?!"

"I did." He nodded, and then he narrowed his eyes, "I read the whole damn thing, and you are a big fucking idiot."

I felt like my heart had stopped. "Oh my god I'm going to kill you."

"No, you aren't."

"Oh but I am." I had my knife out and charged at him but he dodged out of the way.

"Aren't you going to ask why I think you're an idiot?"

I sighed, and slumped down on a fallen log, humiliated. "Why?

"A bunch of reasons. First, I was not a bad lay and you better not be telling anyone that I was." I started to interrupt but he held up his hand to stop me. "Secondly, OBVIOUSLY you have a thing for my Dad. That's nothing new. How was that ever even a question? Were you just lying to yourself?"

"What are you – "

"I'm not done." He poked me with his finger. "The last reason you're an idiot is that obviously he likes you too, but you just can't seem to see it."

"No. He definitely doesn't like me. Not like that. He likes Stephanie. He thinks of me as Miles's niece and a fellow soldier and a drinking buddy and that's all."

"Not true." Connor says shaking his head, "He's liked you since at least New Vegas. I'll admit he sometimes doesn't really act like it. He's probably not even sure why he likes you or that he should, but he's been throwing out some pretty major hints lately. When are you going to wake up and see that he likes you too?"

"Wait a minute. What do you mean he liked me since New Vegas?"

Now Connor is the one who looks uncomfortable. "Uh, when we were there he told me to stay away from you. I knew then."

"Uh, what?! You knew then – in New Vegas? He asked you to keep your distance while we were THERE? Was this before or after we…"

"Before."

"I cannot believe I thought you were an okay guy. You are an asshole!" I charged Connor with the knife again. He sidestepped but just barely. "You read my journal – my most private thoughts, and now you tell me that you slept with me KNOWING your Dad was interested?"

"Hey, think back, Charlie. I didn't approach you. It was the other way around. I'm human. When a hot chick throws herself at me, I say yes. I say hell yes."

I rubbed my temples. This was too much. "You're wrong. He does NOT like me. Not like that."

Connor threw up his hands, "I read your journal. Clearly, you need to read it yourself. All the evidence is right there in your own words."

* * *

 **October 27, 2029**

I went back and read it all. Everything I've written in this damn book. Connor might be right. Maybe this thing I'm feeling for Monroe isn't one-sided. But if that's true, what the hell am I going to do about it?"

* * *

 **October 28, 2029**

Today Miles and I were patrolling in this abandoned town and we came upon an old library. I had to go in. I always have to go in.

Miles rolled his eyes at me – like he always does. I don't know why I get excited about places like that. Too much time has passed. There is always damage and there's always been looting. Still I always have to look.

This one was like all the rest. What books were left, were moldy sodden messes in corners. An old poster hung on a wall. It said "Book Worm" over a picture of a big cheerful caterpillar. It made me sad. I sat in an old swivel chair that had lost its will to swivel long ago.

"Did you ever go to the library when you were a kid?" I asked him.

"Nah. Closest I ever got was sneaking a peek under the brown paper wrapper on the Hustler magazines at the corner gas station."

"I'm guessing I don't want to know what a Hustler magazine was."

"Good guess."

I was laughing when my chair collapsed and then we were both laughing. While I was lying there on the floor and Miles was reaching a hand down to help me up – I saw it.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the narrow space under the desk where I'd been sitting.

"Huh?" Miles bent over, craning to look. "I don't see anything."

I reached way back under the desk, and through layers of dirt and cobwebs. My hand wrapped around an old plastic shopping bag. It was stiff and crumbly, having been forgotten almost two decades earlier. I looked inside and my heart began to beat faster. "Books." I said.

"Well, we are in a library."

"No, but Miles…these are new books. Yeah, they're old and kind of musty, but they are NEW. Nobody has ever read these before." I held up the three paperbacks reverently, pointing at the price tags and perfect unbroken spines.

"So?" He looked utterly confused.

"Miles, I was still reading picture books when the lights went out. I have never, ever read a brand new book as an adult. I love to read but every book I get my hands on already has a name scrawled in the front cover or its missing pages or it has water damage or whatever."

He took the books from my hands and read the titles aloud, "Fine, let's see what you have here… " _Love's Tender Caress-_ and _"Rough and Ready_ and my personal favorite _Ageless Splendor_." He shook his head, laughing. "Charlie, these books are trashy romance novels. You'd be better off with Hustler."

* * *

 **October 31, 2029**

It's Halloween, not that it means much to us. The weather is chilly. Stephanie hasn't been around much lately which suits me just fine. Connor has been running errands for Blanchard so it's back to just Miles, me and Monroe most of the time.

I read all three of my new books. _Love's Tender Caress_ was about a business woman who falls for a carpenter. _Rough and Ready_ was all about a misunderstanding that turned into a love affair. The best one is _Ageless Splendor_. It's about a girl who falls for her boss, who just happens to be a much older man. Yeah, you can see why that one speaks to me.

Good thing something is speaking to me. Monroe isn't talking much. Not to me and not to Miles. He's in his head almost all the time these days. That's why when he finally did speak to me tonight, I was totally surprised. "Didn't you read that damned book once already?"

"Twice."

"And it's so good you have to read it again?" He looked skeptical.

"What can I say? I like what I like." I made a point of holding his gaze. This was the longest conversation we've had in weeks. I missed talking to him. I missed the way his eyes could bore into me.

"So, what's it about?"

I hesitated, "It's about this woman named Ava. She's all alone in the world. She moves to a new city and takes a new job. Her boss is this guy Grant. He's a total jackass at first and she hates him. Then, gradually she decides she doesn't hate him as much… The problem is that she knows he would never pay any attention to her. He is more experienced…more mature."

"More mature?"

"Well, he's older."

Monroe's eyes changed then. Something sparked between us, I swear it. "And?"

"And she's sure that he doesn't even think of her as anything more than an employee. She's not sophisticated like the women he usually dates."

"Maybe Grant doesn't want a woman who is so sophisticated? Maybe Ava is all wrong about what he wants…"

"Did you already read it?" I was getting nervous. This whole thing was beginning to hit a little close to home.

"No, but I know that sometimes things that sound good on paper, don't work in real life."

"What do you mean?" I'm afraid my voice sounded shaky. I know that's how I felt.

"Appearances can be deceiving, and not everyone wants what people might expect that they want. That's all."

I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. He smiled a little sad half smile and then he went to his bedroll and settled in for the night.

I didn't fall asleep till much later. I had a lot on my mind.

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks for all the beautiful comments. More installments of Charlie's Journal coming soon (including some actual charloe physical contact & the return of some familiar faces).**


	4. Chapter 4

**November 6, 2029**

The war is almost over. It has to be. Blanchard won't come back around our camp ever since Monroe threatened to castrate him for touching me, so Miles went to Austen to talk to Blanchard. He's hoping to get some news about other parts of Texas and how the battles are going there.

Around here, the fighting against Patriots has fizzled to almost nothing. We do have run-ins with bandits or small war clans from time to time. Mostly, we just wait.

Waiting sucks no matter what, but when you are stuck waiting with someone you have feeling for, and who you think might also have feelings for you BUT you can't figure out a way to ask him – well that kind of waiting is worse.

Last night we had a pretty bad storm. Miles was still in Austen, so it was just me and Monroe. Luckily we have a tent. One tent. So, Monroe and I shared it. Did I mention it's a small tent? Well it is. So, there we were, packed in close. The interior of the tent was pitch black. The storm raged outside and it was cold. I was shivering.

"Move over here so we can share the blankets." He said. I swear he made it sound like he'd rather share a blanket with anyone else, but felt obligated.

"I'm fine over here." I said, but my teeth were chattering so he pulled me over and covered us up. It wasn't like we were naked or anything. We were both fully clothed and technically we were both in our own bedrolls, just squished together and then covered by the one heavy blanket we had.

At first I tried to keep some space between us, but he fell asleep. Once he was out, he rolled closer and snuggled up against me. Two things about this: 1. I never would have figured Monroe for a snuggler, but he is. 2. I know it means nothing and he was only doing what his subconscious was telling him to do, but it felt like more than nothing. Nuzzled up close to his body, I felt like I was home. His embrace was firm and warm and enveloping, and with a sigh I snuggled close and fell asleep too. The last thing I remember was the comforting sound of his heart under my ear.

When I woke up this morning I was kind of confused at first. Morning light was filtering through the tent's fabric. I felt warm and kind of disoriented, but not in a bad way. Suddenly, everything zoomed into focus and I realized I was in Monroe's arms. Not just in his arms either. At some point our bedrolls had become less of a divider. My legs were tangled with his. My arms were wrapped around his back. We couldn't be any closer unless we were naked.

I was wondering if he was awake. I shifted slightly and felt his cock, hard and ready and pressing into my belly. I heard him make some weird strangled noise and I realized he was awake too. He was awake and waiting to see what would happen when I woke up. Our limbs were so intertwined; there was no way one of us could get free without the other's cooperation.

I slowly looked up at him. His lips were pressed into a flat, tense line. His eyes were heated and very aware. I could have sworn I also saw fear there. Our eyes locked and without really meaning to, I found myself stroking his back through his shirt.

"Charlotte." His voice was a hoarse whisper. There was warning there.

"Monroe." I whispered, licking my lips.

"Charlie?" He was asking my permission.

"Bass." His eyes grew wide with surprise at the sound of his nick name – one I'd never used before – not out loud anyway. He understood that this was my answer. He groaned and then he was kissing me.

Shit.

It was like we'd both been holding back for so long that suddenly all bets were off. God, he's a good kisser. Can't say I was super surprised about that. He's known for his skills with the ladies, after all, but wow. His lips were somehow gentle and aggressive all at once. His tongue was probing and his hands were everywhere. He was just a little bit tentative at the very beginning, but when he was sure I wasn't backing out, there was no more hesitation. None at all.

I yanked him closer, grinding against his hard (and might I say impressive) erection. This made him moan into my mouth and I swear I came right there, just hearing the effect I had on him. Monroe was yanking at my shirt and I was letting him – when we heard it.

"Where the hell are you guys at?" It was Miles, and although I love my uncle, I also hated him in that moment.

Monroe moved so fast, I landed with a thump on my back as he pushed away from me. His eyes were still wild, but no longer with desire. He looked terrified. Terrified and guilty as hell.

Something my Dad used to say (about being caught with a hand in the cookie jar) flitted through my memory. I frowned up at Monroe and stood, straightening my shirt. I looked pointedly at the bulge in his pants. "You better take care of that. Pretty sure Miles is going to notice if you walk out of here with a boner." Then I left the tent without looking at him again. This was all too damn weird.

Miles had just returned and he had good news. Blanchard said treaty negotiations were in the works. The war would officially be over by Christmas.

"Shouldn't you be happier?" he'd asked me.

"Yes. Yes I should." I'd growled before finding my crossbow and heading into the woods. Maybe hunting for breakfast would make up for not getting to have what I really wanted.

* * *

 **November 11, 2029**

Things have been awkward between Monroe and me ever since Miles interrupted our little make out session. I want to talk to him, but he's never alone. It's like he doesn't trust himself around me anymore.

Maybe he doesn't.

* * *

 **November 12, 2029**

Stephanie is back. She came with more news from treaty negotiations. She says that Blanchard feels confident it won't be much longer. Yesterday, we sat around at lunch listening to her go on and on about all her hopes and dreams for Texas and the role she hopes to play in it. She was sitting far too close to Monroe. Every now and then she'd place a meaty paw on his thigh and I was burning up with hate for her.

Miles suggested the two of them go for a walk. He said it in a teasing way, clearly implying they'd be doing a lot more than walking.

I was sure I was going to be sick.

Before either of them could agree to Miles's plan, I stood.

"Where you goin?" Miles asked.

"Town." I was already grabbing my things and packing my bag.

"Why?" Miles asked, clearly not understanding why I would ever want to get away.

"I need some fresh air."

"We're living in the damned forest, Charlie. It doesn't get much fresher than this." He was laughing. Monroe looked uncomfortable. Stephanie wasn't paying me the slightest bit of attention.

"You're right, Miles. It's not fresh air I'm after."

"What then?"

"I'm bored. Going to go to town, have some drinks, play some pool…maybe find a guy."

Now Miles was standing too. "Find a guy to do what with exactly?"

"A woman has needs, Miles. Time I got some of mine met." Then I threw my bag over my shoulder and left camp without a backward glance. I could hear Stephanie laughing and I swore to myself I'd kill her with my bare hands if I ever had to look at her face again.

I had walked maybe a third of the way when it started to rain. Perfect. I remembered an old farm house that we'd passed on several occasions. One side of it had been crushed when a large tree had fallen on the roof long ago, but surely there would be a dry room I could stay in.

I ran the last bit and found a door I could go through. I looked around a bit before settling in an old bedroom. The place smelled musty, but it was dry and the fact that there was still a mattress had me almost giddy.

I pulled my bedroll out of my pack and spread it across the mattress. Then I took off my boots and spread out on it with a happy sigh.

I dozed off and when I woke up it was with that creepy crawly feeling that told me I wasn't alone. My eyes shot open and I looked at the door. Monroe was standing there, leaning against the jam. His posture was relaxed, but he looked kind of pissed.

"What?" I asked with a frown. "Did the rain ruin your plans with Stephanie?"

He started walking toward me and the look in his eye was causing my skin to sizzle with awareness. "Never had any plans with Stephanie." He said.

"You didn't seem to mind having her hands on you."

"Her hands aren't the ones I wanted on me." He was so close then and my heart was pounding.

"Pretty sure Miles doesn't like you that way."

"Funny." But he wasn't laughing. "Were you really going to find some random guy in town?"

"Maybe." I shrugged. "I just needed to…."

"Needed to what?"

"I needed to stop thinking about you with her." I admitted.

"Wasn't with her."

"Why not?"

"Cause I want you."

When I looked up at him then, I saw so many emotions rolling across his face. Fear, need, anger and hope…

"Me?"

"Yes, Charlotte. Only you."

I stood then and we were kissing and this time Miles wasn't around to stop us. Thank God.

So, here's the thing. I've had sex before. There was that guy back in Wisconsin. His name was Elijah. His Dad was the farmer we bought grain from. He was nice, but when I finally gave in and let him have what he wanted, I found it terribly underwhelming. After we left Sylvania Estates, I just didn't have the time or desire to start anything with anybody. Then we got to Texas and I went looking for Monroe. There was that bartender Jeff and then of course Connor. Even with my lack of experience, I was convinced that there had to be more to it all than what I'd known.

I was so right about that.

Monroe… No. Bass. Bass didn't seem to want to talk much and I was okay with that. There would be plenty of time to talk, later. He seemed impatient. I was okay with that. Our clothes were quickly gone.

But then, he seemed so imposing suddenly - naked and hard and so very close. Did I mention naked? Bass Monroe is physically perfect and being so close to him and knowing what was coming next – it was almost too much. I was having trouble breathing - my chest rising and falling in ragged gasps. He placed his hands on my shoulders and gently stroked the flesh there. I knew he wasn't particularly interested in taking it slow, but he sensed that I needed a moment.

Bass leaned in and whispered calming words against my ear. It was like he was inside my head and knew exactly what I needed. He told me I was beautiful. He told me I was worth the wait. He told me that he wanted to be inside me. He said he wanted to taste me. All the while, he was just ever so slightly stroking my shoulders. I calmed down slowly. He smiled and then he was kissing me again and by then I was feeling better – more settled…. Ready.

He moved us to the bed and carefully put me on my back in the center before moving to hover over me. The kissing was getting more intense and I was touching every bit of him that I could reach. Bass moved his way down my throat, pausing to kiss the silver arrow pendent. "You're still wearing it."

"Of course. It's so beautiful."

"Just like you."

He moved farther down then, kissing and sucking my nipples while using his fingers to stroke the drenched folds between my legs. He found my clit and began to rub it in a steady rhythm that sent shockwaves through my body. I arched under him and begged, "Please, Bass."

He groaned, promising something about giving me more foreplay next time. He took my hand and wrapped it around his cock. I shuddered at the weight of it in my fingers. Thick, long and so very hard – I wanted it buried inside me, so I helped line him up at my entrance. Feeling the perfect velvety tip of his penis right there – ready – it was so intense. I pivoted my hips, trying to encourage him.

He didn't really need any encouragement. He grasped my hands high above my head and thrust. The movement was strong and invasive. His dick filled and stretched me. I lifted my hips to welcome him deeper. He began to move – slowly at first. With every thrust, he went deeper until he was buried. His pace quickened. I cried out as he began to go faster, hammering into my pussy with an almost punishing pace. Amazing. It felt…amazing.

He reached between us and lightly pinched at my clit and I exploded around him. I could feel the walls of my pussy gripping and pulling at his cock as I came. He groaned, fucking me through my orgasm. His followed soon after mine had faded. He pulled out just in time and came on my thigh.

Afterwards we cuddled for a while. We talked about staying right there but decided against it. "Miles would start to wonder where we were." I reminded him.

"Let's go back to camp. We'll tell Miles I talked you out of screwing some random stranger. I'll be a hero." He grinned at me and his eyes were sparkling. He looked happy, and it made my heart swell to know he was happy because of me.

"You already are my hero." I said, kissing him softly. "Are we going to tell him HOW you talked me out of it?" I laughed as he began to shake his head.

"Not yet. We'll tell him, but let's wait just a bit."

"Okay."

So, we walked back to camp. We didn't talk much but I don't remember being happier. As we neared camp, we stopped for just a moment and Monroe pulled me close and kissed me. "There's going to be a lot more of that, okay? Don't doubt it and don't doubt me. I don't want Stephanie or anyone else, okay? Just you."

I nodded, not even sure what to say.

We walked into a mostly empty camp. Connor was pacing near the dying campfire.

"Hey Connor, why are you here?" I asked.

He started to talk but stopped. He looked from Bass to me and back again. Understanding dawned. "Congratulations, I guess. Looks like you figured out all your shit."

I shrugged, "Most of it. What's wrong? You look…off."

"I came to tell you guys some news. Miles left before I could even tell him all of it. I'm guessing you will too."

My heart began to hammer as apprehension pooled in my gut. "What news? You're scaring me, Connor."

Bass grasped my hand and spoke to his son, "Come on. Out with it."

Connor nodded. "Charlie, it's your Mom."

I felt my knees go wobbly and Bass pulled me against his body for support. "Is she…" I couldn't even finish my thought.

"She's alive. Pittman brought her in this afternoon. Priscilla didn't make it back. Aaron is a mess, but your Mom…"

"What?" I nearly screamed at him. "What about her?"

"She's had another breakdown, Charlie. She's not doing well at all. You should probably get to town as soon as you can. She's with your Grandpa. He's worried."

Bass and I grabbed our things and were back on the trail in minutes. Connor led the way.

* * *

 **A/N Thanks so much for all the comments. They mean so much. Leave another one if you have a moment.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: There is some Rachel stuff in this chapter and some Nano stuff… It's brief. I promise this story is about Charlie and Bass. To reward you for hanging with me through the sci-fi b/s, I'm giving you some smut in the second half of this chapter. Hopefully that makes up for the Rachel parts.**

* * *

 **November 24, 2029**

Rachel Matheson was the scariest person I know. I told her that once. It was true too.

But that was then. She's not scary anymore.

She's here, but she's not HERE. She looks like my mother. She has the same golden hair. She has the same blue eyes, but she's an empty shell of her former self. She stares at the blank wall for hours on end. Sometimes she mutters nonsense. Sometimes she twists her hair and rocks back and forth.

She is skin and bones, drinking and eating only when someone forces her to do so.  
Mom has been back for two days now, and I miss her more than I did when she was gone.

* * *

 **November 25, 2029**

Aaron isn't the same either and seeing him breaks my heart. He is broken. Priscilla is dead. He hasn't told us how it happened and Mom doesn't talk at all. We don't pry. We just know.

* * *

 **November 27, 2029**

I sit with her sometimes. She doesn't know I'm here.

* * *

 **November 28, 2029**

Aaron finally filled us in on some of what happened. They had gotten to some town in Idaho where they had hoped to find answers. Aaron said that they saw Neville there and President Davis. They saw Truman and a handful of other familiar faces. Except that they weren't the same behind the familiar faces.

"The Nano had gotten to them. They were like robots." Aaron told us tonight as we sat in Grandpa's living room around the gentle warmth of the fireplace. Bass was sitting next to me on the old couch. His body was a firm reminder that I wasn't alone in this. Now and then he would run his fingers along my thigh. It wasn't a suggestive move. It was supportive. Comforting.

We listened as Aaron told us his story. He talked for hours, but I'll keep it simple here...

The Nano can't be defeated. They will continue to absorb power for eternity and the dark world we live in is all we'll ever have. I think this stunned us all. Even though the lights have been out for a long time, we all kind of thought they might come back on…someday.

No such luck.

The only real piece of good news he had for us was that the Nano had overestimated its control over humans. The human body just couldn't handle long term possession. Sometimes it took a while, but no human body could survive the Nano. They either wasted away and died or they went insane and killed themselves.

"It was awful." Aaron said. His eyes were glassy.

"Is my Mom possessed by the Nano? Is that what's wrong with her?" I tried to keep my voice even. Bass pressed his leg against mine firmly. I took strength from his touch.

"No, Charlie. She was fine. She was fighting and hopeful and then the Nano visited us. It took the form of your Dad. He... It told us that their plan to rule the world by overtaking humans was doomed. Then…"

"Then what?" Miles asked.

"The Nano said it had something to show us and suddenly we were thrust into this weird virtual reality. It was like an IMAX movie gone horribly wrong. It showed us all the bad stuff that had happened... all the bad stuff we had caused inadvertently by putting Nanotechnology in motion. We saw the lights go out and planes crashing and the bodies piled in streets. We saw Maggie bleeding out and Danny getting shot. We watched Nora die, and there were fireflies everywhere, and then…"

"What else did it show you?" Bass's voice was hoarse. We all knew what came next.

"It showed us Flynn pushing the buttons. Then it showed us Philly and Atlanta – up close and personal. We watched the people there burning alive. We saw the mushroom clouds. It was all in slow motion." Aaron was sobbing by then. His words were jarbled, but we could still understand him. "At the very end, it thanked both of us for helping to bring it to life. Your Mom wasn't the same after that. She couldn't deal – like not at all."

Everyone talked some more, but I wasn't listening. I could feel Bass shaking next to me. I looked at his face and he was a mess. His eyes were glazed and he was fighting off tears. I wasn't sure what to do, but I knew he needed to get out of there. It was my turn to be supportive.

"Let's go." I said quietly. Nobody noticed we were leaving or that I had snagged Miles's whiskey from the kitchen counter on our way out.

We'd made it down the front steps before I realized I had no idea where we could go. We'd moved back to Willoughby on the night Mom and Aaron had returned. Connor already had a place in town, but Miles, Bass and I had crashed with Grandpa. Miles and I took turns sitting with her. Grandpa paced a lot and read old Medical journal articles about mental breakdowns.

Bass had really come through. He'd been our all-around errand boy. He'd cooked our meals, sent well meaning (but unwanted) visitors on their way and foraged for bark and other natural ingredients that Grandpa said he needed. Everyone knows that there is no love lost between Monroe and my Mom, but he was doing this for us. For Miles and for me.

I know I'm in some weird emotional place because of my Mom and everything, but if Bass keeps this up, I'm going to totally fall in love with him. Shit.

So there we were, out of the house, which was good…but with nowhere to go, which was bad. I looked at Monroe. He was doing a little better in the fresh air, but he still looked haunted and unsteady. I had a thought, pulling at his hand. "Marion's old place is just down this road."

He didn't argue and we walked in silence. It didn't take long and we were at Marion's old diner. The place was boarded up, but we weren't going to be deterred by a few old boards and soon we were inside. I found some glasses in a dusty cupboard and poured some of Miles's whiskey for each of us as we sat on an old vinyl bench near a table at the back.

Bass's hand shook as he lifted his drink to his lips.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Come here."

I moved closer and he sat his drink down. He pulled me against him and buried his face in my hair. He stayed like that, his arms wrapped around me while he cried. I melted into him, my own face covered in silent tears. He was remembering his city and the blame he still assigned himself for its destruction.

"It wasn't your fault, Bass. None of it was your fault."

We stayed like that for a long time. He calmed down. His breathing became even. Gradually there was a shift. His need for comfort gave way to need of a very different kind.

Bass pulled me to my feet and began to undress me. His actions were slow and deliberate. He was kissing me and I felt like he was pouring himself into this moment like he hadn't before. That first time had been new and exploratory. Since then, we hadn't had two minutes to ourselves. There had been a few stolen kisses and that was all.

We were naked and the kissing was growing more intense. I could tell he was tired. Not physically, but emotionally. He needed to be taken care of. "Sit." I whispered against his mouth.

He sat.

I moved to stand between Bass's legs. He leaned forward, licking and kissing my belly as I moved to straddle him. My mouth was on his as I hovered over his lap. He was achingly hard and I was drenched with need. Bass grasped the flesh of my hips and pulled my body down over his, sheathing himself in my heat. Seated firmly on his cock, I began to rotate my hips ever so slightly. It felt so good, but we both wanted more.

Bass took one of my nipples between his teeth and began to suck and nip at the puckered flesh. He used his hands to urge me into motion and I started to move. Slowly, I slid up and down his slippery cock. The fullness I felt from this angle is difficult to describe. His cock is thick and long and when he would pull me down, thrusting up at the same time – there was this feeling of pleasure that bordered on pain. The pleasure part far outweighed the occasional discomfort I felt when the head of his cock pushed roughly against my cervix. I knew I would be sore later. Hell, I'd be lucky if I could walk.

I did not care.

Looking into his eyes, I saw that he was getting close. He began to pull at my hips even harder, ramming home over and over. I reached down and stroked my clit without ever taking my eyes off his. We were both breathing raggedly.

"Charlie?" he was asking my permission.

There was no way that what he wanted to do was a good idea. No way. And yet, the primal need for it overwhelmed all common sense in my head. In that moment I needed him to do what he was asking.

Needed it like I need air.

"Bass." I said with a shaky nod, my answer unspoken but clear.

He surged into me with a growl and we came together, eyes locked, bodies joined. I was shattering around him, by body grasping and clenching his cock as he came deep inside me.

I collapsed against his chest as we both settled slowly into normal breathing and coherent thought.

"Damn." I said.

"Damn." He agreed.

Later, we went back to Grandpa's. Nobody had really even noticed we were gone.

* * *

 **November 29, 2029**

I woke up this morning feeling happy for the first time since Mom got back. I rolled to get out of bed and saw something lying on the pillow next to where I'd slept. I picked it up. It was a small heart carved from a chunk of wood. It nestled perfectly in my palm. Engraved on one side was the letter B.

I got dressed and tucked it into my pocket. I couldn't stop smiling.

Big tough General Sebastian Monroe was a softie underneath it all. He'd literally given me his heart. Yesterday I said that if things didn't change, I'd probably fall in love with him.

Pretty sure that ship has sailed.

* * *

 **November 30, 2029**

Mom is worse. Miles won't leave her side. Grandpa said he doesn't think she has long to live. My heart aches for them. I suppose it aches for me too.

Bass is never far. We still haven't told anyone about this thing between us and they are all preoccupied with their own stuff anyway, but he still makes a point to remind me I'm not alone.

We'll get through this. Together.


	6. Chapter 6

**December 4, 2029**

My Mom died this morning.

Grandpa said she'd lost the will to live.

Rachel Matheson always was good with following through on a plan, so I guess we shouldn't have been too surprised when she set her mind on dying….and then went ahead and did it.

* * *

 **December 6, 2029**

We buried her today in the cemetery behind the little church on the edge of town. It is a depressing place. She would have hated it. I know I do.

Aaron told me there are supposed to be all these different stages of grief. I don't remember what they all were, but I can tell you where I am. Anger.

I'm so mad at her for leaving me. Again. What kind of mother does that? What kind of mother decides being dead is preferable to being with her child? But then I suppose that's the thing…she didn't prefer being dead to being with her child. I'm just not the right child. If Danny was alive instead of me, I bet she'd have found a will to live.

Bass has been supportive, but mostly he stays in the background. Everyone knows he and my Mom hated each other. He's just trying to stay out of the way while we grieve.

Miles doesn't leave his room. He's been drinking and little else ever since she died. I think once he sobers up, he's going to be mad too. After all, I'm not the only one she left behind.

* * *

 **December 17, 2029**

Blanchard came to the funeral. It was the first time we'd seen him since that time he touched me and Bass threatened him. He and Bass seem to have worked through their problems. They talked for a while after the service. Blanchard has some mission he wants Bass to go on for him.

Miles came out of his room long enough to watch the burial. Then he went back. He looks like hell, and smells worse. Stephanie was there too. I guess she's a nurse when she's not fighting with Rangers. Now that the fighting has pretty much died down, she's been helping Grandpa at his clinic. They are both worried for Miles. We all are.

They're trying to figure out a way to get through to him. I'm not sure there's any point.

He'll come around when he's ready.

* * *

 **December 19, 2029**

Bass went on Blanchard's assignment and has been gone for a week. He came back today in a pretty good mood. The trip had been a success. He'd given me the signal as soon as he arrived at Grandpa's and then we both made our excuses after dinner so that we could meet at Marion's. Bass calls it our 'Happy Place' because when we're there we both let everything else fade into the background. We just enjoy each other.

We'd barely made it through the door and he was pulling me close. "How are you holding up?" he asked. We hadn't had a lot of quality time since the funeral.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, shaking my head.

He understood. "What do you want?"

"I want to forget about her. Make me forget about her, Bass."

He seemed to understand that I needed something different from him this time. I didn't want soft and gentle. I wanted something else entirely.

We didn't waste time on foreplay. After a week apart, neither of us needed it. Bass placed his hands on my shoulders and nudged me over to a corner table. He unfastened my jeans and yanked them and my underwear down my legs. When they had pooled around my feet, he turned me to face away from him and pushed against my back until my chest was resting on the dusty surface of the old Formica. I heard his zipper and felt my need skyrocket. In moments he was stroking the head of his cock up and down my slippery slit. I arched toward him.

"Now." I begged.

He didn't argue, thrusting forward. His thick cock filled me with that one smooth surge. I moaned as he began to move, my body adjusting quickly to the now familiar invasion. He dug his fingers into my hips for leverage, slamming into me over and over. The fronts of my thighs were going to be bruised by the table. My pussy was going to ache later. Right then, none of that mattered.

I just wanted more.

Once again, Bass was in my head, fucking me exactly the way I wanted it. The sounds of skin slapping against skin echoed through the abandoned diner. The only other sounds were my cries and Bass's moans as he pounded me. Yes. This was what I needed. From the sounds of things, it is what he needed too.

His pace was becoming frantic. At the end my feet weren't even touching the floor anymore. He was using his upper body strength to hold me in place as he pistoned into me. He pulled me up roughly - my back was against his chest and his arms were around me when he came hard, filling me with his hot seed. He slowed and stopped, still buried deep.

From the new angle, he reached down and stroked my sensitive clit. As my gut began to fill with a coiled need for release, he leaned in and began to suck the side of my neck. The combination of sensations: his cock still in my pussy, his wet mouth on my throat, his clever fingers working magic on my clit… it was all too much. I came with a loud yell.

"Shhhh." He whispered against my ear. His fingers were still stroking me, but the touch was soft. He brought me down from my orgasm gently. When my breathing was back to normal, he extricated and tucked himself away before fastening his pants.

I was a shaky mess, so he helped me get decent as well.

"That was what I needed." I said as I moved into his embrace. He nodded, knowingly. We stood there like that for a long time, just holding each other. It was better than any conversation we possibly could have had.

* * *

 **December 22, 2029**

It's almost Christmas which shouldn't matter. It's not like we celebrate it anymore. I do remember helping Dad and Maggie decorate a tree on our last year in Wisconsin. That was fun. I asked Aaron if he remembered that. He said yeah. That was all. He doesn't talk much these days. He's not like Mom was. He's not crazy or determined to starve himself to death.

He's just not the same.

This morning he said he's moving. I asked where. He said he wasn't sure yet, but that it would be 'somewhere else'.

I hope he changes his mind. I need him around here.

Bass said he got me something for Christmas. Now I need to get him something – just have to figure out the 'what'.

* * *

 **December 24, 2029**

Tonight started out pretty great. I figured out what I'm getting Bass for Christmas. There is this peddler who comes through town from time to time. He was here yesterday. He had a bunch of clothes for sale. None of it was the kind of stuff I'd usually wear, but there was this blue nightgown thing. It's sheer and short. I haven't figured out exactly the when and where yet, but I think he's going to love it.

I was waiting for Bass at Marion's tonight but he didn't show. It was strange because he's never missed one of our pre-arranged meetings before. I waited for a while, but finally headed back to Grandpa's.

I heard them before I saw them. Miles and Bass were arguing. From the sounds of things, it had been going on for a while.

"I'm sorry, Miles. Shit. I just want you to come out of this funk you're in. That's all."

"This funk?" Miles sounded really pissed. "The woman I love just died. Excuse me if I take a few weeks to grieve."

"Like I said. I'm sorry." Bass sounded tired. "Just trying to help."

"Well, don't. We both know you hated her. So, right now it's a little difficult for me to buy that you are any kind of sorry about Rachel dying."

"You're right Miles. I'm not sorry – not for me. I won't miss her, but I'm sorry because I know you will miss her. I know Charlie will."

Miles didn't say anything, but I could hear him grumbling under his breath as he turned and walked toward the house.

"Don't walk away from me. Let's talk about this." Bass pleaded.

Miles whirled on him. "Why? What is there to talk about?"

"Damn it Miles. Why does she have to always come in the middle of our friendship? That bitch is dead and still she's driving a wedge between us."

From where I was standing behind the corner of the house, I could see Miles tense up. He took a few steps closer to Bass – staring him right in the eye. "Call her a bitch all you want to. We both know you didn't always think she was so bad."

"Miles." Bass's voice was low then, and there was a hint of warning in it.

"What? You didn't think I knew? Well, I did – you son of a bitch."

Bass was shaking his head jerkily, "It wasn't like that Miles. She must have told you that too?"

"Doesn't matter what it was like. What matters is that it happened at all. You crossed a line there, Bass. When I had her with me, I could sort of overlook it. Now she's gone, and when I see you – it's all I can think about. You betrayed me. You betrayed our friendship. Now give me some god-damned time." Miles turned then and stomped into the house. The door slammed shut behind him.

Bass was just standing there, staring after Miles. He was running his hand through his curls and then across his mouth. He looked haunted. Distressed.

As the conversation I'd heard began to sink in, I must have made a noise. Bass looked over at me and as soon as he saw my face, his crumpled. I guess my reaction was evident.

"Charlie. It's not what you think."

I felt like the world was closing in. My gut was churning and I was sure I was going to vomit. Bass and I have a million things going against us. The possibility that he could have ever been involved with my Mom? Well, that one had never even crossed my mind. Suddenly I felt like the biggest idiot. "You and my Mom? YOU AND MY MOM?"

"Charlie."

"Stop. I don't want to hear it. I can't believe I was so stupid. Was I just a stand in for HER? When we were together, were you wishing you were with my Mother?" my voice was all shaky and I felt light headed.

"Hell no. What you and I have is special. It's real. The other thing…it was one time and it meant nothing – "

"STOP TALKING." I yelled. "I can't take it."

"I'm so sorry. What can I do to fix this?" He walked to me and reached out but I pulled away like I'd been stung.

"I can't deal with this right now and you sure as hell can't touch me right now." I walked around him toward Grandpa's, "And I suggest you find a new place to stay."

I didn't slam the door, but I did throw the old dead bolt once I was inside. I leaned against the door and closed my eyes. Tears were welling and I swore my heart was actually breaking in my chest.

"So, you and Bass?" Miles was sitting in the dark with a bottle resting on his knee. "Should have seen that coming I guess. Shit."

"What you said out there?"

"I shouldn't have said anything, Charlie. I was out of line."

"Did they really…"

"I don't want to talk about that anymore, okay?"

"Well, then I should explain to you about Bass and I and –"

"No!" Miles took a really big drink. "I want to talk about THAT even less. Can we just sit here in the dark and drink until none of it matters anymore?"

"You have enough whiskey for that?"

"Probably not. Want to try?"

"Yes." I sat down beside him. "Yes I do."

Miles handed me a second bottle that had been stashed in his pocket. "Merry Christmas, Charlie…. Merry fucking Christmas."

* * *

 **A/N: Don't worry. You know stories of mine come with a happy Charloe ending...we'll get there. I promise.**


	7. Chapter 7

**January 1, 2030**

Back before the blackout, New Years was a big deal I guess. Aaron said there was a giant ball that dropped from the sky and a big count down and everyone would kiss at the stroke of midnight. It was all to celebrate a fresh start in the year ahead.

I get that. I want a fresh start. I need one.

Aaron is leaving Willoughby in a couple days. Says he's going to find a place where he can live quietly and try to forget all that's happened. Some tiny town near Old Dallas.

Ever since their fight, Miles and Bass have been getting along better. It's weird really. I think they've had so many fights over the years that they've developed a system to get past whatever their problem might be. They argue and yell and hurt each other's feelings. Then they make up, slowly.

Miles is showering again and isn't drinking as much. I think maybe he's going to be just fine.

Miles has never has said another word about me and Bass – not to me anyway. Of course that could be because there is no me and Bass right now. He's tried to talk to me several times. I'm not ready to forgive him yet.

I will. I'm sure I will. Just not yet.

* * *

 **January 3, 2030**

The air is crisp. The wind bites a little. Aaron is packing his few things. He's planning to leave tomorrow. I've decided to go with him. He doesn't know it yet. Nobody does. I think this is one of those things that will work best if I wait to tell everyone at the last moment.

* * *

 **January 4, 2030**

Last night I couldn't sleep. I knew I'd be leaving this morning and had too much on my mind to relax. I got up and pulled on my clothes and my warmest jacket. I thought some fresh air would do me good. I went for a walk. Naturally I ended up in front of Marion's.

I wasn't going to go in, but I saw a flicker of light from the upstairs apartment. That was one part of the place Bass and I rarely went to. A window had blown out a long time ago and there had been some water damage up there. I felt anger boiling up inside of me at the thought of anyone in our 'happy place'. I gripped my knife and headed quietly up the stairs, ready to take on whoever was squatting inside.

I rounded the corner at the top of the stairs and was jerked against a hard familiar body, a knife to my throat. "Oh, it's you." Bass's voice sounded tired and sad. He put his knife away and moved as far from me as he could while still being in the same room.

"Why are you here?" I asked him.

"I bought the place from your Grandpa. He bought it from the town after Marion died. She didn't have any family. He said he wasn't ready to see someone else's name on the sign. I guess enough other stuff has happened now – he's not too concerned with it anymore. When I offered to buy it, he agreed."

Neither of us could really look at each other. "Oh okay. Sorry I bothered you. I saw the light. I wanted to make sure nobody was up here tearing it up." I turned to leave.

"Don't go."

"I can't stay."

"I miss you." He was right behind me then, his hands on my shoulders. "Stay with me please?" his lips were on my ear. His fingers gently massaging tired muscles.

"I'm not ready to forgive and forget yet Bass."

He sighed heavily, but he didn't move away. "I'll wait as long as it takes. I'm not going anywhere, Charlie. We're going to work through this."

It was hard to be mad when he was so sad and when his fingers were making me tremble. "I'm leaving tomorrow for a while."

He froze. "Going with Aaron?"

"Yeah. There's this little town outside of Old Dallas. He's buying a small farm there. I'm going to help him get things settled. Well, he doesn't know yet, but I'm going."

"I don't want you to go." His voice was so quiet, I almost couldn't make out the words.

"I just need a little space to think this all through, okay? We jumped into this thing so quickly. I need to figure out how I feel… about you. About us. About you and my Mom."

When he spoke then, his voice wasn't quiet anymore. He was angry, "There never was a 'me and your Mom'. It was a stupid mistake that was never repeated. It was long before I ever met you. I have a lot of shit I regret, but that is right at the top. It meant nothing."

"I know."

"What does that mean? You know?"

"I mean, I get it. A one time thing. Like what Connor and I had."

He stepped away then, walking to the window and staring out into the night. "If you understand, why are you leaving? Why can't you stay?" He looked at me over his shoulder. He looked so sad. "Stay with me, Charlie."

"Bass, when I'm near you – I can't think. I NEED to think. I am coming back, okay? I just need some time. You said I could take as long as I needed."

He nodded, his eyes downcast. "Can I write to you?"

This surprised me, although I suppose it shouldn't have. "Yeah, of course." The Texas Postal Service was one of the first to succeed post blackout. It wasn't always perfectly reliable, but it worked.

Bass walked to me then and held me tight. He buried his face in my hair and breathed in deeply as if he was memorizing the way I felt in his arms…the way I smelled… My heart was clenching. This was our goodbye and we both knew it.

"I love you Charlie." His voice was breaking. So was my heart.

"I know." I choked out, and suddenly I DID know it. I knew it better than any other fact. Bass loved me and I loved him. "I still have to go for a little while."

"I know." He said, repeating my own words. Bass leaned in then and kissed me. His tears mingled with mine. The kiss was soft and sweet – chaste, even. It was over far too soon. "I'll be here, waiting for you."

"I'll come back." I promised. He nodded and then I left. By the time I got home I was bawling my eyes out.

Miles was waiting for me. He always seemed to know when I was in trouble. "You're leaving us, aren't you?" He held open his arms and I collapsed into them, sobbing.

When I could finally speak, I answered. "Yeah, going with Aaron tomorrow."

"Damn it Kid. We're gonna miss you around here."

I went to bed and slept for a while. When I woke up, Miles had filled Aaron in on the fact that I was joining him. Aaron didn't seem to care one way or the other. Grandpa and Miles both said goodbye and promised to write. I didn't see Bass again, but as we drove the wagon down Main Street, I'd swear I saw movement in the upstairs window over the old diner.

* * *

 **January 5, 2030**

Sherman, Texas is a town just south of Old Dallas. We got here at sundown. There's not much here, to be honest. There is a little school, two bars, a store and a church. The farm is a couple miles outside of 'town'. He'd bought it sight unseen which was a gamble, but the place isn't too bad. There's a weathered little clapboard house and a small barn. There's a big garden space and a small orchard.

We walked through the house first. It needs a lot of work. There is an old kitchen, a big sitting room with a fireplace and two small bedrooms.

"This one is mine." I said, pointing to the bigger of the two.

"No." Aaron said, shaking his head. "I get the big room. You're just visiting."

"Maybe I'll stay." I tilted my chin stubbornly.

Aaron rolled his eyes, "I'm depressed, not oblivious. I know you'll be going back to Willoughby and the Prince of Darkness as soon as you figure your shit out."

I gaped at him, "You knew?"

He shrugged. "Yeah, I saw the way you two were looking at each other, and then one night I was out for a walk and heard…um, some things… coming from Marion's old restaurant. I was going to check it out but you guys came out just as I was rounding the corner. You were clearly together. I left before you saw me there."

I frowned at him, "Well, I don't want to talk about that."

"Fine by me. I don't want to talk about it either. This is still my room." He smiled then, and my heart melted a little. I'd missed Aaron's smile.

"We have a lot of work to do. Where do we start?" I asked him.

"We go to town and meet with a guy named Harold at the general store. He has some supplies for us. Then we will clean and patch and repair as best we can. I want to have the house ready by the time spring rolls around. It will be planting season before long."

* * *

 **January 16, 2030**

We've been working solid ever since we got here. The roof needed patched. The well needed repaired. Everything needed a good scrubbing. We fixed holes in the barn and readied a long abandoned chicken coop.

Aaron bought a rooster and six hens from a neighbor. The rooster is mean as hell. We call him Tom Neville. I kind of like farm life. Its simplicity suits me. Aaron seems happier too. Slowly, he's coming out of his post-Idaho depression. He still won't talk about Priscilla. I kind of think he never will.

I got my first letter today. It was from Miles.

 _Kid,  
How do you like farm life? Aaron doing ok? We miss you around here. Your Grandpa is doing allright. He's keeping busy with his practice. Stephanie is working with him full time. I know you two didn't really hit it off, but she's okay._

 _The war is officially over. Blanchard brought us the news himself. Can't say I'm sad to see that mess is finally behind us. Even though we hadn't been in the thick of it for a while, it's nice to know it's all over. When Blanchard was here, he also brought Bass's official pardon. We knew it was coming, but I think it was still a relief to Bass. He kind of half figured Frank would go back on his word and that he would have done all the work for Texas for nothing. Anyway, Bass is free now. No more of that bullshit hanging over his head._

 _I miss your Mom, but I'm doing better. Bass and I have pretty much mended our fences. Bout time you two did the same I think. He's opening Marion's old place next week. Been working at it like a dog. He hired the Oden twins to be bus boys and Edna Mathews (that's Joe's Mom) to run the front counter. I figured he'd open it as a bar but he's keeping it a diner. Never knew him to be much of a cook but I guess after he was taking care of us when your Mom was sick, he decided he liked it fine. So he's going to be the head cook. Edna will be taking orders and helping in the kitchen when she can. Dillon and Brandon will keep it all cleaned up. I think the menu is going to be pretty simple, but it should be good enough for folks around here. Willoughby isn't all that picky after all._

 _In case you were wondering, Bass is keeping to himself. He'd have his pick of the women in this town if he wanted them. He doesn't. He asks about you every day when he stops by for an evening drink or twelve. I think that poor son of a bitch is in love with you. Maybe you can cut him some slack and forgive him? I don't want to get into the details, but I can tell you they both regretted it all. Hell. If I can forgive him for all that shit, surely you can too._

 _Don't do anything stupid.  
Miles_

 _PS Bass named his diner "The Happy Place". He's an idiot._

I read it a hundred times. I wish I could explain how it isn't just about me forgiving Bass. I think I'm almost ready to do that, to be honest. This being apart – it's not just about forgiveness. It's about me figuring out how I really feel about myself and about Bass, and what I want from the future…from a future with him. We moved so quickly from friends and fellow soldiers to SO much more. I just need to take a step back and evaluate it all, and I can't do that when we're in the same place. He turns my brain (and other parts) to mush.

I have a lot of time to think now. I miss him so damn much. Maybe this is a stupid idea. What the hell am I doing in Sherman, Texas?

And Miles is wrong. Bass isn't an idiot.


	8. Chapter 8

**January 22, 2030**

We had a pretty terrible snow storm last night. The locals say that Texas weather has been weird ever since Atlanta got hit. It didn't snow a whole lot in these parts before then. I'd say right now we have at least six inches of the white stuff.

Part of me wants to build a snowman, just because I remember doing that with Danny in Wisconsin. It is one of those perfect memories though – the kind I don't want to replace with a new one.

The day before the storm hit, I got my first letter from Bass. I've kept it in my pocket ever since. I pull it out and read it over again every chance I get. I miss him so much.

 _Charlie,  
You know what my first thought is every morning when I wake up? I think about that one night where we fell asleep after one of our nights at Marion's. When we realized we'd fallen asleep and spent the whole night there, you were worried. Remember? You said you should go. And you started to, but then you changed your mind. We were already naked – God, I miss seeing you like that. It's not all I miss. Not even close, but I miss it – and you said maybe we had time for a quickie. I will never forget the way you swung your leg over me to settle in and ride. Right there in the dining room with the morning sunlight shining through your hair, and the feel of your body wrapped so tightly around me. That was when I knew. That was when I knew that I loved you._

 _Miles said he told you I was opening Marion's again. I named it The Happy Place. I know you know why._

 _That booth – our booth - is off limits to customers. It's my booth and everyone knows it. Even if we're busy, nobody sits there. I call it my office. I think Edna has figured out that it's got some emotional attachment for me. She's a great old gal. Curses like a sailor but makes the best damn pie in Texas._

 _Miles is kind of back to his old self. He's laughing again and making jokes at the expense of the rest of us so I think he's coming around. He has breakfast at my diner every morning. Our menu is pretty basic. Breakfast is biscuits and gravy or ham and eggs with toast. Lunch is BBQ venison (John Frye's sauce recipe) and corn bread or stew. I close after lunch so we can clean and bake bread for the next day._

 _Working in the kitchen is turning into something I really love. If you were here, I'd cook for you. Actually, if you were here, I'd make everyone leave and we'd have a meeting in my 'office'._

 _If you were here, I'd never let you go again._

 _Love,  
Bass_

* * *

 **January 24, 2030**

I wrote Bass back. My letter was shorter than his, but I did tell him about Aaron's little farm and how I'm enjoying it here. I told him about this awful storm and I told him I miss him. I told him that I also remember that morning. How could I not?

I told him that I'll be home by Spring. Truth is I might not make it that long.

* * *

 **January 30, 2030**

Aaron is sick. Really really sick. I'm kind of a wreck. I wish Grandpa was here. This stupid snow is making everything more difficult. I tried to take care of him by myself for the first couple days, but this morning I took Daisy (the big brown mare) into Sherman. There is no doctor in this stupid town. It took a while to find anyone who might be able to help, but I finally found a midwife who had some medical knowledge. She came out to the farm with me. Says Aaron has the flu.

The flu scares the crap out of me. I think before the blackout it wasn't that big of a deal, but now it can be a death sentence. She said there's not much I can do except watch him and keep him hydrated. She gave me some herbal tea that might soothe his stomach.

In the mean time I'm just trying to keep from getting sick myself.

* * *

 **February 6, 2030**

Aaron is better. He's got some color in his cheeks and he's able to keep down broth and he's been drinking a lot of that tea. I'm exhausted and might just sleep for a week.

Got a letter from Miles today,

 _Kid,  
Seriously, get your ass back to Willoughby. I'm finally ready to get out and about, maybe even meet a girl but I can't. You want to know why? Because your stupid ass BOYFRIEND won't let me have a night to myself for some me time. I suggested he go to the bar with me while I meet women, and he looked at me like I was crazy._

 _I am not the crazy one here. He is. He misses you. I think he's almost gone after you a few times but always stops himself. He says you have to come back when you are ready to. I know you have a lot to think about or whatever, but are you about done?_

 _You're a grown up so I'm just gonna tell you how it is. Your Mom was gone for half a year. I was faithful to her, Charlie. I had chances not to be, but I was always loyal. She came back but she wasn't the same Rachel I'd fallen for. When she died I was heartbroken, but now I'm better. I still miss her, but in this world people die. I ain't dead yet though, and I need to get laid. There, I said it._

 _Now get your ass back here so you can entertain Bass and I can go off and find some entertainment of my own._

 _Miles_

 _PS I know I should feel guilty for dumping this on you, but I don't. By God, I'm desperate. Oh, and tell Aaron we said hello. Hope he's feeling better._

* * *

 **February 8, 2030**

I'm so tired. I can't keep any fluids down. The midwife was here again. Told me what I'd already figured out. I have the flu. Thankfully Aaron is better now and able to take care of me. It's good because I need it. Couldn't do this alone.

I miss Bass so much.

* * *

 **February 10, 2030**

The flu is brutal. I have never thrown up so much in my life. All I do is sleep and puke. Now and then Aaron forces me to drink something or have some broth.

* * *

 **February 14, 2030**

Today is Valentine's Day. I kind of remember decorating a box for school when I was in Kindergarten. All the kids exchanged silly little cards and ate candy shaped like hearts.

I've kicked the flu's ass - well, mostly - but I'm still tired. My body is taking a while to fully recover. Aaron went through this too. He's been better for a few weeks now, but is still slower going than he used to be.

I wish Bass was here. I wrote him a letter yesterday. I told him I'd been sick but that I was better. I told him about the plans Aaron and I are making for the garden. I told him that I'm ready to come back but I'm still too tired to travel. Besides, there was another snow storm while I was sick. I drew a little heart at the end of my letter. It had 'Charlie & Bass' written inside. That was probably too much, but I was feeling mushy.

Knowing that I'll be seeing him soon helps the ache in my heart.

Now, I'm going to take a nap. I'm just so damn tired.


	9. Chapter 9

**February 21, 2030**

I woke up early and for the first time in weeks, I was hungry so I went to the kitchen and got a few things to eat. I was sitting there enjoying my little hodge-podge breakfast when Aaron came in. He was rubbing his eyes and looked only half awake. He stopped short at the table, "Uh Charlie?" he said. "Something you want to tell me?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. "Uh, no?"

"Well, it looks like you got your appetite back?" Aaron was kind of chuckling like he was in on a joke that I didn't get and it made me grouchy.

"Are you really going to make fun of my appetite? Just yesterday you said I needed to eat more."

"But I sort of thought you'd leave some for me?" He laid his hands on the table and rested his chin on his fingers, smiling at me. It's so nice to see that smile, and luckily I've been seeing a lot more of it lately but something about THIS smile irritated me.

"What do you mean? I left you some…" I looked around the kitchen table and was surprised. There were a few empty jars and the heel from a loaf of bread. I popped the last of the cheese into my mouth and shrugged. "Okay, so I was hungry. What of it?"

"Charlie, don't you see what's going on?"

"No… What?" Apprehension was building as I tried to grasp what he was saying.

Aaron sat up straight and looked me right in the eye, "You've been exhausted – sleeping ten hours or more a night. Yesterday you started crying when Tom Neville got out of the chicken house and we had to chase him down. Now you're sitting out here eating pickles and cheese and, what's this, beets? For breakfast? This isn't about the flu anymore. This is something else… "

"What? I asked.

Aaron rolled his eyes. "I'm no doctor Charlie, but I'm pretty sure that you're pregnant."

"No. That can't be… No. It's not possible…"

He just watched me as I processed his words and did a little math in my head.

"Oh shit." I said. "Holy shit."

* * *

 **February 22, 2030**

I was thinking maybe Aaron was wrong so I went to talk to that midwife again.

I went to see her at her house just outside of town. She was surprised to see me. "Thought you were all better? Did your fever come back?"

"No. No fever, but I have a question."

"What's your question?"

"Could I be pregnant?"

She looked at me curiously, head tilted. "You tell me. Have you been sexually active?"

I nodded.

She chuckled, "So you and the big fella?"

I made a face, "Aaron? No. Ewww."

"Well, no matter who the Daddy might be, come with me. I'll ask you some questions and do an exam. There's not a lot I can tell you until the baby is big enough that I can hear its heartbeat with my ancient stethoscope. In the good old days all you had to do was pee on a stick and we'd know in minutes." She sounded very nostalgic for the good old days. My mind was whirling with the words 'baby' and 'heartbeat'. This was all starting to feel real.

"Why did you tell me I had the flu?"

"Well, you DID have the flu." She shrugged, "You didn't ask me if you might be pregnant so I didn't check. I'm not psychic."

She asked me a bunch of embarrassing questions about my cycle and about my sex life. She asked if I'd noticed any changes in my body. I answered every question as best I could.

"Yes, I'd say you are pregnant. My guess is ten or twelve weeks along, so it's still early. Come back in a couple weeks. Maybe I can hear the heartbeat then. Do you like to read?"

"Yes. Why?"

She handed me a couple battered books, _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ and _Dr. Spock's Pregnancy Guide_. I looked up at her questioningly.

"Read those. You can ignore the parts that talk about special tests. We can't do any of them anymore, but the parts on how your body will change and how the baby is growing? That stuff is the same. I think it's best if you know what you're in for. Oh, and this too." She handed me a little post blackout book. It had no title.

"What's this one?"

"Instructions on delivering a baby. You and the big fella should both read it. No guarantee I'll be around when the time comes. Most babies are delivered at home these days."

I left with my stack of books and a promise that I'd return in two weeks.

* * *

 **February 23, 2030**

Aaron says I should write to Bass and tell him. I'm not ready yet. I want to wrap my head around this thing before I tell him about it.

* * *

 **February 24, 2030**

Got a letter from Miles today. Pretty glad I didn't tell Bass yet.

 _Kid,  
So Bass is in jail. He'll be there for at least a couple more weeks. Longer if Blanchard has his way. Here's what happened. We were at the diner – me and Bass – talking to John Frye. Frye had agreed to cook while we went to get you. Yeah, Bass had decided he'd waited long enough and was gonna find you and bring you home. I'd decided to go with him. Before we left, Bass wanted to line Frye up to run the place while we were gone. Frye is a regular and he likes to help out around there from time to time. He makes this BBQ sauce that is to die for and he likes to cook. _

_So they were talking and making arrangements and Blanchard came in and heard some of it – enough to pick up on where and why we were leaving town._

 _Frank made some crack to Bass about you. I am not going to tell you what he said, but just believe me when I say that it wasn't nice. I had left to take a piss and got back just as Bass was jumping over the counter to kick his ass._

 _Now this is Texas, and I don't think there's even a law about beating someone up these days, but I guess when the guy you're using as a punching bag is the vice president, the rules are different. Bass was carted away by Rangers and Blanchard was spluttering about reversing Bass's pardon. I think I talked him out of that, but he wouldn't budge on jail time. Told Bass he's going to be in there for a month._

 _The good news is that Bass being in lock up has totally taken care of MY problem and I've had a chance to spend some quality time with a lady from town. Life is good in that respect. Sorry._

 _I don't know if Bass gets to write you from jail or not, but I'll keep you updated. Okay? Don't worry. This isn't Bass's first time behind bars. He can take care of himself._

 _Miles_

Great. My baby's Daddy is in jail. When I told Aaron, he laughed and said something about this being better than reality TV, whatever that is.

* * *

 **March 3, 2030**

My boobs are getting bigger. So is my belly. I don't think a stranger would notice yet, but I can see where it swells out just a little bit and it's actually kind of cool. Those books have been pretty great and it's a comfort to know why things are changing and what's coming next.

Physically I'm fine. Emotionally, I'm not so great. I'm moody and cranky and so horny I think I might die if Bass doesn't get back soon.

I don't know when I'll hear from him again. I'm waiting till he's out of jail to tell him my news.

* * *

 **March 5, 2030**

I guess I don't have to wait after all. I got two short notes today: one from Miles and one from Bass (who is still in jail by the way). Oh, and also I'm going to kill Aaron.

 _Kid,  
You're pregnant? Jesus. You realize you're having a baby with a senior citizen? I can't even think about this for very long because I start to get really mad and it's probably a good thing Bass is still in jail or I'd have to do to him what he did to Blanchard. _

_Bass is terrified that if you travel without him something bad will happen, so just fucking stay put. Okay? We'll be there to get you soon. There have been reports of a clan that has been attacking travelers, and Bass is a paranoid little girl on a good day. That news kind of set him off. So sit tight. We'll be there._

 _Can't believe that bastard is going to be the father of your kid. I can't believe THAT YOU ARE HAVING A KID AT ALL. Shit. I need a drink._

 _Miles_

 _PS Tell Aaron he did the right thing. Not telling us would have ended very badly for him._

 _Charlie,  
Aaron wrote to Miles and me. He told us about the baby. I'm still a little numb about it, but not in a bad way. Obviously it was a possibility but I'm forty-seven and I guess I just figured it was unlikely. Are you okay? Do you feel sick in the mornings? I want to be there and I will be as soon as I can get out of this stupid place. _

_Shit. I can't believe you're pregnant. I bet you're glowing. I don't want to miss any of this. I miss you so much. I was coming to get you anyway before I got thrown in here. That plan hasn't changed other than that I'm more determined than ever. I AM coming to get you. I swear I am, even if I have to dig my way out of this hellhole with a spoon._

 _Nothing will keep me away from you. You know that, right? I love you, Charlie. I'm coming. Stay there and be safe. STAY THERE. Okay? I can't deal with the thought of anything happening to you or our little one._

 _Love,  
Bass_

 _PS Have you thought about names yet? I kind of like Ulysses for a boy…_

I read the letters through twice and wrote a quick response to Bass. Hopefully he'll get it before his release.

 _Bass,  
You should consider working on your temper, and also stop beating up on old guys. You should have just saved him for me. I could have taken care of him, and they would not have thrown ME in jail._

 _I'm so glad you're coming to get me. I've missed you so much. I'm not mad anymore – not about my Mom or anything other than the fact that I left Willoughby (and you) in the first place. I was an idiot and I'm sorry._

 _I feel pretty good. Aaron is taking good care of me, but I don't feel sick at all. Just tired. Tired and nervous. The whole process scares me, but I'm following every rule that the midwife here told me about and I read three books about pregnancy and childbirth and I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be._

 _Try not to worry. I'll stay here until you can come, but hurry. I miss you….a lot. I read that it's normal to want certain things during pregnancy, but I never would have guessed the need would be so all consuming. Getting you naked is almost all I can think about. So, hurry up and get out of jail already._

 _I wanted to wait till I saw you in person to tell you this, but that seems silly now. I love you too._

 _Charlie_

 _PS There is no way in hell our kid will be named Ulysses. NO WAY IN HELL._

* * *

 **A/N: Yeah, I brought Frye back to life. Couldn't help myself. So humor me here... It wasn't John that Bass shot to 'start a war'. It was one of John's fellow Rangers instead. I needed someone fresh but familiar and I hadn't used John Frye yet. Ah, the beauty of fan fiction. :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**March 12, 2030**

Still no word from Bass or Miles, though I assume they are probably on their way. I've been passing the time by reading those pregnancy books. There are parts of them that I don't read. Whole sections are dedicated to all the things that can go wrong and ways to handle those things. The trouble is that if that mid-wife is right, I'll likely give birth at home and certainly won't have access to medical miracles or epidurals (though I'll admit, those sound nice).

It's strange, but even though I don't know this baby – don't even know if it's a boy or a girl – and yet, I already love him (or her) so much, my heart almost bursts with it. I don't think I ever understood what the whole 'Mama Bear' thing was about, but now I get it. If anyone tries to hurt my baby, I will gut them like a pig.

I think this is how my Mom felt about Danny. I sometimes wonder why she never felt the same for me.

* * *

 **March 19, 2030**

I'm starting to get worried about Bass and Miles. Where are they? News of that group of bandits has spread. A farmer and his wife were robbed last week just south of Old Dallas. Last night a man from Sherman was beaten and left for dead. Nobody knows who these guys are yet, but everyone is on edge.

Aaron is a wreck. He's scared that something will happen to me while I'm on his watch.

"Why are you so worried about me?" I'd asked him.

He rolled his eyes, "First of all, you are family and I love you. Besides I've lost enough people this year. Secondly, your Uncle is the Butcher of Baltimore and that baby you're carrying will be calling the Scourge of Scranton 'Daddy'. I'll keep you safe if it's the last thing I do."

"I guess I see your point." I'd admitted, trying not to laugh.

I just wish they would get here already.

* * *

 **March 20, 2030**

He's still not here and I haven't gotten a letter in weeks. I can't sleep and my stomach is in knots.

Where are they?

* * *

 **March 21, 2030**

Bass and Miles showed up today and all is right with my world once again. Here's how it happened…

The midwife was here giving me an exam, which meant I was lying on the kitchen table being poked and prodded. We heard a wagon pull up and a flurry of argument, followed by Miles busting through the door yelling "I win!"

As soon as he saw me lying there with a strange woman holding a stethoscope to my bare belly, he stopped and just stared. "Ah shit. You should put out a sign or something. A man could use a warning."

"A man could knock." The midwife muttered with a scowl. All I could do was grin at Miles. It was so good to see him.

The next person to come in made my smile fade. Stephanie. Why was she here? Grrrr

Then the door opened one more time and everyone else faded into the background. Bass was here! He looked at me in a way I can't even describe. It was like he was consuming me visually, taking in every change since he'd seen me last. Without ever tearing his eyes from me, he said "Everybody out." He didn't yell, but his voice was so intense that I was reminded of the first time I met him when He'd been President Monroe.

Evidently I wasn't the only one who could tell that Bass meant business. The room cleared quickly and we were alone. Bass walked to me slowly. By then I was propped up on my elbows. My shirt was still bunched up under my breasts. My belly was on full display above the waistband of the skirt I was wearing. I've taken to wearing skirts instead of pants because none of my pants fit anymore.

He didn't even notice the change in my clothing choices. His eyes kept roaming from my face to my belly. "Charlie." He said and the way he said it, made my heart hammer in my chest. He walked to me and helped me sit up straight before pulling me into his arms. He nuzzled into my neck and stroked my back gently. Everything about his touch was gentle.

"I missed you so much." I told him.

He didn't answer, but pressed his lips against mine in a way that left no doubt. He'd missed me too. It was a welcome back kiss. It was an I love you kiss. It was a kiss that left me shaking from the inside out. He pulled away just a bit, looking me in the eye. "Are you okay? The baby?" he reached out tenderly, stroking the swell of my belly.

"We're fine. I was just getting a checkup. She can hear the heartbeat now. The baby is healthy."

"And you?" One hand remained on my belly, fingers splayed. The other moved up to my face where he caressed my cheek.

"I'm perfectly fine now that you're here. I was worried."

Bass shook his head, "I'm really sorry. It took longer than we'd expected because Blanchard was being a dick. I was going to write you again, but then we were on our way and I figured I'd beat the letter here."

"I don't care. Just glad you're here."

"We're good now? You know all that stuff with your mom was ancient history, and brief ancient history at that."

"We're good." I said. "Don't want to talk about her. Don't want to talk."

He grinned at me then, "Where can we go to not talk?"

I pointed down the narrow hallway. "Second door on the left."

I started to get down from where I was perched on the table, but Bass picked me right up and held me close to his chest – one arm around my back and one under my knees. He was careful not to bump me into anything as he carried me to my room and once we were there he laid me down on my bed gently.

We just looked at each other for a long time, savoring the moment. Then he knelt at the side of my bed and grabbed my hand. I was surprised, to say the least, expecting us to already be well on our way to naked by then. "What's wrong?" I asked him, worried.

"Nothing. This is all about you and what you need. Tell me what you need, Charlie."

"Well, you." I said, my voice was barely a whisper. "You're all I need."

He smiled at me. It was one of those smiles that lights up the room and crinkles the corners of his eyes, "Then you're in luck, because this…" he spread out his arms wide, "is all yours."

"Then, get up here already cause I need some of that."

This time was different than every other time we've been together. We took it slow. There were a lot of feather light touches and lingering kisses…and then there were more. Bass was doing everything in his power to give me pleasure and he was succeeding wonderfully.

We'd been in my room for a long time. He'd brought me to climax twice already and I felt weightless and sated. Now it was his turn to find release. I was on top, sliding up and down his thick cock slowly. Every now and then I would rotate my hips just a bit, finding a new spot that made me hum. His hands were moving everywhere. He stroked my belly, and cupped my breasts. He lingered there for a long time, pinching tentatively at the swollen nipples, and running the lightest of touches over the curved flesh below them. After a while, he moved his hands to my hips and guided me into a faster rhythm. I didn't think there was any way he could work another orgasm out of me, but he did. As I shattered around him, I felt Bass lose himself deep inside me.

Shuddering, I fell on his chest. He wrapped his arms loosely around me, holding me there. As our breathing calmed, we parted. I started to pull on my clothes and he did the same.

"I'm really glad you came back." I said with what I'm sure was a dopey grin.

"You and me both." Bass's grin was fairly dopey as well, so I think he is just as happy as I am.

We eventually made it back to the kitchen, only to find it was still empty. We wandered out to the porch. Miles, Aaron and Stephanie were sitting on old deck chairs, watching the sun set.

Miles looked up and rolled his eyes, "About damn time. Shit. You done violating my niece so we can have some dinner?"

Bass pulled me close and kissed my temple, "I am nowhere near done violating your niece, but even we need a break for food."

Miles almost threw the whiskey bottle at Bass, but thought better of it when he noticed it wasn't empty yet. "Bastard." He muttered instead.

I'm not sure if I was supposed to notice or not, but I saw Stephanie (whose presence here I still don't fully understand) reach out and squeeze Miles's hand. They shared a moment and then all was lost in the activity of dinner preparation and eating.

I'm going to find out what's going on between Miles and Stephanie, but it can wait till tomorrow. I have much better things to do tonight.


	11. Chapter 11

**March 22, 2030**

This morning I finally got around to asking Bass what the deal was with Stephanie. "Why is she here?"

Bass was eating a bowl of oatmeal. He took a big bite and watched me thoughtfully as he chewed and swallowed. "She's fucking Miles." He finally said with a shrug. Evidently he's decided that being honest with me is the best policy.

I approve of the policy, but was surprised by the news, "Really?"

"Yeah, it started while I was in jail. When he first told me, I figured it was just a fling, but they've been spending a lot of time together and she wanted to come along on this trip, so…"

"You're sure she came for Miles?" I scowled, remembering the way she used to paw on Bass.

He rolled his eyes, "You're right. She's only screwing Miles's brains out so that she can get to the guy she really wants: Staypuft." Then he went back to eating, though he was now smirking as he chewed.

"Not funny." I said, but then I started to laugh, because it was kind of funny. I love when Bass makes me laugh. It's hard to describe but it's like my whole being lights up. So we were laughing and smiling at each other and that's when I felt it.

Bubbles.

My expression must have changed. Bass's smile disappeared and he looked afraid. "Charlie?"

"It's…"

"What? It's what? What's wrong?" He was standing then, staring down at me with wild eyes. I stood up too and took his hand, placing it on my belly.

"Bubbles" I said. "It felt like bubbles."

Stephanie walked in just then and smiled, "That's good. Those bubbles will start to feel like actual kicks soon. Bass might not be able to feel the baby yet, but he will once those kicks start."

Bass's eyes stayed on me. "Bubbles." He finally said before wrapping me in a gentle hug.

* * *

 **March 23, 2030**

Bass is on guard dog duty, evidently. I can't shake him – not that I want to really. It's just that I got used to fending for myself, and now he won't let me do anything for myself. Today I went out to get eggs and he went with me. Twice he stopped me because he thought he 'heard something'. If he keeps this up, he's going to hear my foot as it swings up to kick his ass.

* * *

 **March 24, 2030**

I swear that if he wasn't a complete genius in bed, meeting my every need and showing me some new ones I didn't even know that I had….he'd be history.

This overprotective act has worn thin. I haven't said anything yet, but I don't know how much longer I can take this without my head exploding.

* * *

 **March 25, 2030**

This morning I had this weird pain in my side. I asked Stephanie about it. She checked me over and said I'm fine. My body is stretching to make room for the baby. She said the discomfort will pass.

Well, to see the way Bass acted, you'd think I'd lost a limb.

After Stephanie was done with me, he spent the whole day following me around like a puppy. It was annoying beyond belief. He was acting like I was a helpless idiot who couldn't take care of myself, and after a few hours of it, I'd had enough.

"You don't have to follow me everywhere." I said, exasperated.

"I just want you to be safe." He looked sheepish.

"And I just want to pee in peace. Can you give me five minutes while I go to the outhouse?"

"Oh." Then he just looked embarrassed. After that, he backed off a little bit which suited me fine. I love the man more than anything, but I'm not fragile. He can't treat me like a helpless kitten.

I'm nobody's kitten.

* * *

 **March 26, 2030**

It's official. Bass is driving me crazy.

Tonight at dinner, I took a pot of stew from the stove to Aaron's kitchen table. It was kind of heavy, but I was doing fine. Bass came rushing over to 'help' and I ended up sloshing thick globs of our dinner all over my favorite skirt. 'That's enough!" I yelled. "I can't take this anymore!"

Bass put a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. He was trying to calm me down. I could tell. I just didn't care.

My voice was all ragged because I was on the verge of tears, "You've got to let me do things like a normal person, okay? I'm pregnant. That's all. I'm not going to break."

"I just don't want anything to happen to you. I don't want you to do too much. It's not good for you to overexert."

So maybe it was the pregnancy hormones. Maybe it was the fact that ever since he'd gotten here, he hasn't let me out of his sight. Maybe I was just hungry. I don't know. Whatever it was that tipped me over the edge doesn't really matter. All that matters is I tipped… "Do too much? Are you kidding me? Overexert? Really?" I was right in his face, and let me tell you – the great Sebastian Monroe looked scared. I didn't care, "You weren't worried about me doing too much or overexerting when I was riding you like a bucking bronco this morning!"

"Oh. My. God." Miles moaned, pushing away from the table, and standing. "I can't listen to this."

I pointed at my uncle, "Shut up and sit down."

He sat.

"Charlie – " Bass was walking toward me and was holding both hands out as if I might hit him. He was keeping his voice really low and calm. "Let's talk about this. I'm sorry if I did anything to – "

I cut him off, "Don't Charlie me. I've been doing just fine all this time while it was just me and Aaron. HE let me do stuff. I've been cooking and cleaning. I helped with the chickens and I went to town for the shopping. You being here doesn't suddenly make me helpless. I can carry the damn soup!" Then I started to cry, hard. So, I ran to my room and slammed the door. Bass came after me and was knocking but he gave up after a while when I didn't let him in.

Eventually I calmed down and then I felt like the biggest idiot. So, Bass wanted to watch over me. There were way worse things than an overprotective baby daddy. I pressed an ear to the door and heard nothing. I opened it slowly.

I wasn't surprised to see someone sitting in the hall. I was surprised to see it was Stephanie instead of Bass.

"Hi." She said.

"Uh, hi." I glanced down the hall. The kitchen was dark. The house felt empty. "Where is everyone?"

Aaron and Miles convinced Bass to go to town for a drink. He's a bit high strung right now. He's worried about you. Only agreed to go if I stayed.

"Why should you stay?" I asked.

"I was a nurse before the war. I've been helping your Grandpa back in Willoughby around his practice. I think Bass felt better knowing you'd be with someone who could help if you had trouble."

I nodded, "I guess I knew that you were a nurse. I'd forgotten." I walked past where she was sitting, but turned when I didn't hear her follow. "Well, come on. I'm not gonna sit on the floor."

We went to the kitchen. I lit some candles because dusk was making the room shadowy and dark. I put on some tea and then we sat across from each other, sipping from mugs.

"I don't want Bass, you know. Never did."

"Yeah, right." I muttered.

She looked embarrassed, "Listen, the truth is that for me it was always Miles. I was attracted to him from the first time I saw him…" she paused, staring off into space for a bit. She collected herself and looked me in the eye, "I'm telling you the truth Charlie. I told Miles how I felt when we first met, and he told me he wasn't interested. He was completely loyal to your Mom. I flirted with Bass because I was hoping to make Miles see what he was missing. Thought he might change his mind… Well, he didn't. But then after your Mom…well, it took some time but he finally agreed to spend some time with me."

"Oh."

"Bass never once showed any interest in me. You should know that. His eyes were always on you."

This made me smile a little. "That is nice to know. Thanks for telling me."

"Listen, there's something else you should know."

"What?"

"It's about Bass. Miles told me and Bass plans to tell you on his own eventually, but he wants to wait till after the baby is born. He's afraid of causing you any distress."

"And you don't mind distressing me?" I was frowning and my heart had started to pound. I could tell already that whatever she was going to say; it was not going to be good.

"No. It's not that at all. I want you to be calm and happy, but I think you need to know this so that you can understand Bass and why he's been acting so weird and clingy."

"What? What is it?"

Stephanie took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, "A long time ago – just a few years after the blackout – Bass was married."

"What?" I felt a little light headed. How could nobody have ever told me this? How could Bass have failed to mention it? I stood on shaky legs. "What?" I asked again.

"Sit down." She said softly. "There's more."

I sat and she told me a story. I knew about Bass and Emma. Obviously, I knew Connor was his kid. I knew our baby wasn't Bass's first, but I didn't know this. I suddenly felt like I didn't know anything.

Stephanie told me about this woman Shelly who Bass had fallen in love with. They'd met in a refugee camp. It was before the Republic was a thing. They got married and she got pregnant soon after. They were both very excited to start a family.

What should have been Bass's happiest day became his most tragic.

"They both died?" I was gripping my mug so tightly that my knuckles were white.

"Yeah. It wasn't that uncommon then. There were complications that the midwife in the camp couldn't have helped with." Stephanie must have seen the terror I suddenly felt. "Now, don't worry. We still don't have power, but we aren't in a dirty camp like where they were. Besides, we've come a long way since those early days, okay? And you'll have me or your Grandpa or Betty close by."

"Who the hell is Betty?" I asked her blankly.

Stephanie laughed, "Your midwife? Didn't you know her name?"

"I don't remember…maybe I did." I ran a hand nervously through my hair, "My memory is shot lately."

"It's the pregnancy. Very common to be forgetful."

I nodded, but I wasn't really paying attention, "So, he's been hovering because he's afraid he'll lose me? Lose us?"

"Yes. So, maybe cut him a little slack?"

"Okay. I… Okay." I looked at her then, really looked at her. Stephanie maybe isn't so bad after all.

It wasn't long after we talked that the guys got back. Bass looked at me nervously, clearly not sure if he was forgiven or not.

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry." I said, tears in my eyes.

"It's okay." He ran his hands along my back, pulling me close.

"I'm sorry I acted crazy before, and I want to make it up to you – " I said softly.

Miles groaned, "By God, if I hear the words 'bucking bronco' again, I will shoot myself."

"Oh shut up." Stephanie said, grasping his hand. "Come with me and I'll make you forget all about those two."

As they left, Aaron also wandered off. It was just the two of us. I leaned up and kissed Bass. He responded eagerly. "We're good?" he asked.

"Yes, Bass. We're more than good."


	12. Chapter 12

**March 30, 2030**

We're going back to Willoughby. Miles, Stephanie, Bass and Me. I cried buckets when we said goodbye to Aaron, but Bass said he needed to get back to his diner and Aaron has grown to like his little farm. Betty was at Aaron's too when we left. Those two have become good friends. She's a little older than he is, but sometimes I wonder…

Anyway, Bass put a huge stack of blankets and pillows in the back of the wagon for us to ride on. Miles and Stephanie are driving. So far it's been an uneventful trip.

We've been talking names. I like Samantha for a girl or Andrew for a boy. Bass likes the stupidest names. The latest one he's been pushing is Mason Dixon. Mason Dixon Monroe. Good Lord, I'm having a baby with a lunatic. I asked him for girl names. He said there was no point. He's completely convinced that the baby is a boy.

Miles says we should name the baby after Bass. He thinks something like Asshole Jr would be perfect. I think he's joking. I'm pretty sure anyway…

* * *

 **March 31, 2030**

I'm not sure where to even start about today. This was the most terrifying day of my life, and you know…I've been through some rough days before so that's saying something.

We were riding along. The day was warm but breezy. Bass was sitting with his back to the side of the wagon and I was sort of nestled between his legs. We weren't talking – just enjoying a moment. His hands were rubbing gently on my belly and his face was against my throat.

Everything happened so quickly. We were riding along slow and steady and then out of nowhere we were surrounded. There were six of them. Immediately it was clear that these were the bandits we'd heard about. They had swords and knives. This was probably our luckiest break. Bass and Miles were both in action within seconds. Bass moved with speed, but also with care as he pushed me low into the wagon, grabbed his swords and made ready to fight. Miles did the same, and handed Stephanie a shot gun that had been under the wagon seat.

"Take care of Charlie." Bass ordered Stephanie. She nodded and scooted into the wagon with me, shotgun ready. I had my bow. We watched as Bass and Miles jumped down from the wagon and were handily beating the men. Four of the bandits fell within the first couple of minutes and I was sure everything was going to be okay.

Then, a shot rang out and it wasn't coming from Stephanie. I saw Miles jerk back as a bullet hit him in the arm. Another grazed Bass's ear and that's when they started ducking beside the wagon searching for the source of the shots. Stephanie pulled the trigger and we heard a cry after the bullet was fired. No more shots came so we thought that part was over.

She turned and shot one of the remaining guys on foot just as he was prepared to stab Bass in the back. As that bandit fell, Miles finished off the one who was attacking him.

We all breathed a sigh of relief, assuming it was all over.

That's when two more came running into the fray. I had my crossbow out and shot one of them, but Bass got into a swordfight with the second, blocking my shot. I turned to point it in the other direction when we heard a horse coming and suddenly Aaron was there, riding in on a big black mare. He was swinging a sword around like he knew exactly what to do with it.

And he did. One of the bandits had Miles on the ground. Miles was weak from loss of blood and didn't look like he was going to make it out of this particular match up, but Aaron came swooping by and slashed the bandit's throat so completely that his head almost came clean off. By then it was just Bass and his guy and I finally got off a shot. An arrow went through the remaining bandit's shoulder and that slowed him down enough for Bass to finish him off with ease. Afterwards, all was quiet.

We all just stared at each other for a second and then Stephanie sprang into action, wrapping torn strips from her shirt around Miles's arm. Bass was at my side, checking me over. We all turned to look at Aaron at the same time. He was breathing heavily, and he was wearing this strange grim smile.

"Uh, Staypuft? Where did you learn to do that?"

"Bradbury was really bad. Really bad. Had to learn some new skills." That's all he would say about that, changing the subject quickly. "These assholes burned down my house, so I guess I'm going back to Willoughby with you." He didn't sound sad exactly, just resigned. It was as if he had decided that good things would never happen to him again.

"What about Betty?" I asked.

He shrugged. "She's fine. I stopped and said goodbye before I left."

"You should have brought her with you." I suggested softly.

"What's the point? Every woman I care about dies. She's better off this way."

My heart aches for Aaron. I love him like a brother. I want him to be happy.

* * *

 **April 2, 2030**

Tonight I got the grand tour of The Happy Place. We got to Willoughby late. Most of the main street was dark. Bass dropped Miles and Stephanie off at Grandpa's. Miles is doing pretty good thanks to Stephanie, but she still wants him to get checked out. Aaron left us as soon as we hit the town limits. I'm not sure where he went. It seemed like he needed some time to think.

After it was just Bass and me, we drove to Marion's old diner. Even at a glance, I could tell a lot had changed. The old sign had been repainted with the new name. The windows were sparkling and a soft glow came from inside.

John Frye was just locking up. He grinned at us when we pulled in and walked over as Bass was helping me down from the wagon. "You back, Boss?"

"Yup. Back for good I think. How was everything here?"

"Business is booming. Just got rid of the last of the supper crowd." Frye turned to me then, "Hey there Ms. Matheson. Haven't seen you in a coon's age."

I smiled. Frye and I had never officially met, and the one time we'd crossed paths, hadn't been under terribly friendly circumstances. I was glad he was making an effort to be nice though. He looked at my belly. There's no way to hide that I'm pregnant – not anymore. It's obvious. "So you two are having a little one?"

Bass beamed and reached his arms around my shoulders, "Yep. We are."

"Well congratulations. Nothing better than babies. The wife and I have five. Love em all." He tilted his head a bit, looking at us thoughtfully. "You know, if you need me to cover some shifts on a regular basis, let me know. Retirement has sucked and I have really loved coming in every day."

"Well, if business continues to do well, I'll take you up on that offer." Bass said, holding out a hand for Frye to shake. After he left, Bass took me inside. The place was neat and clean and smelled a bit of fried chicken and apple pie. He didn't waste a lot of time on the first floor though. Instead, he led me upstairs.

This was where the biggest changes had happened. The rooms had been scrubbed clean of the dust that had accumulated. The walls had been whitewashed. Bass had found a decent looking yellow sofa and small wooden table for the living room. The only other room was the bedroom. It had also received a big make over. The iron bed was new and topped with soft feather mattresses and white sheets. Over that was a simple quilt in shades of blue. Along another wall was a simple wooden dresser topped with a lantern.

"I love it." I told him, almost in tears. Everything makes me cry these days. "I really love it."

Bass was excited. "We'll put the crib along this wall. Later we can re-do the attic for a second bedroom. There's plenty of room up there, but it will need a lot of work. Come with me. I want to show you one more thing.

"What?"

He took me back to the living room and directed me to the wall opposite the sofa. I hadn't noticed that wall before. There was an ornate bookshelf, hand crafted and beautifully constructed. And on the shelves were stacks of books. Bass had found books for me of every kind and my mind was whirling at all the wonderful hours of reading that lay ahead.

"You got me books?"

"Yeah, but that's not all."

"What else?"

"I made the bookcase myself."

"You did?" I was impressed, walking closer I was able to take in the fine detail and craftsmanship. "I didn't know you could do anything like this…"

He shrugged, kind of embarrassed. "I did some stuff like this with my Grandpa when I was growing up. I'd kind of forgotten about it, but when I had this idea to make the bookshelf, I just knew I'd have to give it a shot."

I stroked my fingertips along the top of the shelf and felt some ridges. I looked closer and my heart skipped a bit. There in the wood on the top of the shelf, he'd carved _Bass loves Charlie_. I looked over at him, tears in my eyes once again. "This is amazing. I love it so much."

He was grinning as he came over and pulled me into his arms. "This was supposed to be your Christmas present." He faltered for a moment, remembering all that had happened to change our holiday plans. He seemed to clear his head of those thoughts, "You know where I got the wood?"

I shook my head.

I went back out to the old farmhouse, you know – the place where we first…"

"Yeah, I remember." My words sounded a little breathless, but I couldn't help myself.

"Well, I pulled boards out of the walls in the room we shared that night. I brought them back and made this. I think I have enough extra to make a cradle for the baby too."

"You did all that – for me?"

"Of course I did. Charlie, you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, right? If anything had happened to you when we were attacked – "

"Nothing did." I assured him, stroking his cheek with my hand.

"And nothing will. I'm going to make sure of it."

He kissed me then and afterwards we christened that new bed. It's a very nice bed, especially when we're in it together. I'm no fortune teller, but I predict we're going to be there a lot.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay here. I got sidetracked by wanting to get Time After Time up and complete before the comic finale, and then I was unable to write anything else until I'd done my own response fic to the comic finale. Now I'm back on track, and working on some other new stuff (including the AU for Romeo). I'll also be updating Charlie's Journal as well as the story here is not over.**

 **Leave a comment if you have a minute.**


	13. Chapter 13

**April 12, 2030**

So I've been busy helping Bass at the diner. It was weird at first seeing him in that role – cook, restaurant owner, and mostly friendly local. People have accepted him just as if they didn't line the streets not a year ago to watch him die. People are strange.

Not that I'm complaining. Bass has changed so much since those darkest days. Its good changes too. Connor is here and Miles is close by and Bass has me. Being surrounded by people he loves is just what Bass always needed. And the baby – well, I think that's icing on the cake.

Bass won't let me in the kitchen. Well, that's not true. John Frye won't let me in the kitchen. He's just such a damn fine cook (Miles's words) that Bass lets him run that kitchen any way he likes. Bass helps too when we have a rush, but mostly he takes orders and schmoozes with the customers. I can see why he excelled at politics – for a while anyway. The man can work a room.

So, you are wondering what I do to help? Well, I walk around with pitchers of water and sweet tea. I ask if folks want pie or if their dinner was all right. It's not difficult and I kind of like it to be honest.

Connor stopped in today. It was good to see him. He seems genuinely happy for me and his Dad. I know that whole mess is ten kinds of weird, but we're all managing to make it work. Connor called me Mom as a joke. I told him that had better not happen again. He just laughed and said he'd see me later.

* * *

 **April 13, 2030**

Today I haven't been up and around as much. My back is killing me and I swear this baby weighs ten pounds already. She's active too. Yes, I think the baby is a girl. I think that just as much as Bass thinks it's a boy. Obviously one of us will be a little disappointed, but the truth is if the baby is healthy – we don't care about anything else.

Stephanie came in for lunch and said she's worried about me. She made me promise to go visit with her and Grandpa for an official check up. I'd meant to do it as soon as we got here, but we've been so busy.

* * *

 **April 14, 2030**

So you know when people talk about days when their lives changed? Most folks will tell you exactly where they were when the lights went out or when the bombs fell on Atlanta and Philly. I remember things like the day Danny died and when they tried to execute Bass.

Today I added another of those life changing days to my personal calendar. It happened at Grandpa's office. I'd gone in for the check-up that Stephanie had been hounding me about. She was there and Grandpa was also there of course. The check-up felt pretty routine to me – not all that different from the ones I'd had with Betty.

I knew right when it went sideways though. There was a shift in the room and Grandpa and Stephanie locked eyes and then he pulled her aside for a moment, talking quietly. They both looked at me and the way they did it made the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up.

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to keep panic out of my voice.

"Nothing is wrong Charlie." Grandpa said to me, but to Stephanie he nodded toward the door. She left without a word.

I was getting really nervous. "What is it? Why did she leave?"

"It's nothing. I just realized that Monroe should be here with you."

"Why?" Tears were streaming down my face and I was struggling to sit up, my hands wrapped protectively around my belly. "Why does he need to be here?"

"Shhh." Grandpa started to rub the hair on the top of my head just like he did when I was a little girl and would visit him and Grandma Charlotte.

Bass was working at the diner which is just across the street and down a few doors so it wasn't long before he came in. Miles and Stephanie followed. They all looked nervous.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" I yelled. I'd had enough of this bullshit. They were scaring me to death.

My Grandpa ignored me and turned to Bass, "Monroe, I have a question for you."

Bass's eyes looked a little wild and he rushed over to my side. I grasped his hand so tightly, he's probably going to have bruises, but he was gripping right back. The message was clear. We were in this – whatever this was – together.

"What's your question?"

Grandpa took off his reading glasses, and looked Bass in the eye, "Do you remember there ever being twins in your family?"

"Huh?" Bass looked confused. "Well, yeah. My sisters were twins -" He stopped and turned to me. His eyes were suddenly wet and I could tell he was just barely holding it together. "Why Doc?"

"Well, there are no twins in Charlie's family, at least there weren't until now." Grandpa smiled then.

"Oh my God." I said. "Oh my God. Two? Two babies?"

Grandpa nodded. "Sorry I scared you. Just figured he'd want to hear the news too."

Bass had pulled me into a hug and he was kissing my cheek and whispering in my ear. He was saying how much he loved me and how he'd be with me every step of the way. I clung to him for dear life.

Miles looked just as shocked as I felt. "Twins? How the hell did the midwife miss that?"

"My guess is that her equipment was subpar. I almost didn't catch it myself, but it's there. Definitely two distinct heartbeats."

"Well hell." Miles said, running a hand through his hair. "Congratulations, guys. You're having a litter."

* * *

 **April 15, 2030**

I worked in the diner all day and tonight I was so tired, I just barely made it up the stairs. My plan had been to go straight to bed, but then I stopped when I saw what had kept Bass busy all afternoon. The truth was I'd hardly seen him all day. Now I knew why.

Candles were lit and a bouquet of wild flowers was sitting on top of my bookshelf. I could hear Bass singing softly. It was a song I didn't know, but it was very pretty. I followed the sound and found him in our room. He'd found an enormous metal tub and set it in one corner. He was sitting next to it, wearing only jeans and stirring something into the water. It smelled like vanilla.

"Come here." He said, his smile melting my heart.

"Okay." I was not going to fight him on this. A warm bath sounded heavenly. If my man wants to pamper me, who am I to deny him?

He stood and walked to me. I was feeling self conscious, but he carefully began to pull my clothes off. He moved slowly and took breaks so that he could touch and kiss me. Once I was naked, he helped me settle into the bath.

"Is the water too warm?"

"No. It's perfect. This is perfect." I looked at him. He was kneeling by the tub again. "You are perfect."

Bass took a cake of soap and slowly began to lather my body. The feel of his fingers on my skin was crazy erotic. My hormones have been a roller coaster to be sure, but right then they were on high alert. He seemed to understand without my asking. Once I was clean, he moved his hand low over my belly and down farther still. Slowly he began to stroke. It felt so good, but the angle was weird.

He helped me out and dried my body before leading me to the bed. I lied on my side and he spooned me from behind. Somewhere along the way, he'd stripped to nothing and I could feel his cock hard against my back. He reached around and began to stroke me again. My body responded wildly. I was moaning and begging for more.

"Is it okay if I?" he asked.

"Yes. Yes it is." I panted.

He moved my thigh up and back over his and slid into me from behind. His free hand was wrapped around my belly as he ever so slowly filled me. "Feels so good." He said against my ear.

"Oh God yes." I moaned, pushing back a little and urging him to go faster.

He ignored my hints, keeping his pace slow and sure. I guess it didn't matter because I came so hard I thought I was going to break in two. He sped up, but just for a few final thrusts. He came then, filling my heat with his own.

"Love you Charlie." He whispered, spent.

"Mmmm, love you too." I answered, before we both fell asleep.

* * *

 **April 26, 2030**

If I thought Bass was overprotective before we knew we were having twins, I clearly had no clue what I was even thinking. He tries to be smooth about it, and he's got accomplices lined up so it doesn't look like he's lurking all the time, but he is. Sometimes it's John Frye who comes and sits with me in the dining room. Sometimes its Stephanie who just happens to stop over when Bass has to leave the diner. Sometimes its Miles or Grandpa or Connor. Someone is with me always.

It was starting to get on my nerves, but today Aaron stopped by. Evidently he'd been convinced to join in the rotation. He seemed a little happier than he'd been when I saw him last, and I'd missed him so much that I forgave him for becoming one of Bass's minions.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked.

He looked embarrassed. "Pretty sure I'm supposed to be asking you that."

I shrugged, grabbing his hands. "You hear? We're having twins."

"I heard." Aaron shook his head. "I am glad you're happy. You are happy, right?"

"So happy." I assured him.

"And Monroe? This is hard for him maybe a little?"

I leaned back and watched Aaron carefully, "I think life has been hard for him. He lost his folks and his sisters. He lost a wife and a baby. He missed out on twenty-five years with Connor. His nation was destroyed. He blames himself for most of it. I think this – " I pointed to my belly, "is huge for him. He's giving life another chance."

Aaron frowned. "I suppose you are trying to tell me I should do the same? Give life another chance?"

I smiled, "Well, I won't tell you what to do. You're a grown up. I will say this – I wrote Betty a letter, telling her about the twins. She's coming for a visit. Should be here next week."

He tried to act cool about it, but I saw the spark of interest in his eyes, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Maybe it's time for a haircut and a new shirt? Couldn't hurt anyway."

"No." He said slowly. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

When Aaron left, I felt a little better for him. I've been so worried. I don't know that anything between him and Betty will work out, but I have hope.

That's the key isn't it? Having hope.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, I know Bass's sisters weren't twins in the show. It worked for me to change their story a bit for the sake of mine. Hope you don't mind.**

 **Leave a comment if you have a moment.**


	14. Chapter 14

**April 28, 2030**

We were all in the diner. The place was unusually empty for a mid-afternoon. I was sitting over in the corner in Bass's favorite booth. Miles and Bass were sitting at the counter. Miles had been drinking and his words were slurred, "Batman and Robin. Simon and Garfunkel. Hall and Oates."

"You're assuming they're both boys." Bass said with a smirk. It's been a while since Miles has been this drunk, but Bass seemed to be enjoying it. "What if they're both girls?"

Miles didn't miss a beat, rattling off more ridiculous baby name suggestions, "Daphne and Velma, LaVerne and Shirley, Monica and Eliza…"

Miles and Bass both stared off into space for a moment, lost in a memory. From the smiles on their faces, it was a very pleasant memory.

"LaVerne and Shirley – them I know, but who the hell are Monica and Eliza?" John Frye asked from the kitchen.

Miles grinned and his eyes sparkled. "Miami Beach, 2009. We were on leave, and we went to this place and there were these dancers – "

"Exotic dancers." Bass agreed with a grin of his own, "Like very VERY exotic."

"And we talked them into a little after party –"

I had heard enough. Clearly they had forgotten I was even there. "Please tell me you don't want to name our children after strippers?" I was glaring at them all as I got up. I wanted to stomp out, but it's hard to make an angry exit when you are as pregnant as I am.

I gave it my best shot, but had only made it a few feet before Bass was at my side, "I'm sorry. Thought you were asleep. We were just kidding. You know that, right?"

"And YOU know that the time to remind me about all the beautiful women from your past, isn't when I'm pregnant with your babies and feeling as big as a barn!?" My voice had risen with every word and I knew my face was turning red. Tears welled and I pushed away from Bass, needing to be alone. He let me go, sensing it wasn't the time to push.

I walked about a block, sitting down on an old concrete bench in front of our little general store. I was wiping my eyes and blubbering a little when John Frye appeared and sat at my side. Clearly he was acting as Bass's minion today.

John got comfortable, leaning back and watching me. When he spoke, his voice was low and slow – very Texan, "Don't worry. They're just assholes. All men are, to be honest. In time we learn to keep our stupid comments in our head." He tapped his temple lightly and watched me through curious eyes, "Your fella might take a bit longer than most, but he'll get there."

"I know. I just – I just hate it. He's older and has had so much more experience than I have. Sometimes I can forget about it, but sometimes…"

"Well, we all have a past. Even you, right?" He gave me a crooked little smile and I felt myself calming down. I nodded and he continued, "I've seen a lot of guys do stupid shit in my day, but I don't remember seeing anyone ever be as loopy over a girl as Monroe is for you."

"Maybe…" I was still unsure.

"If you are going to fret about his past, the girls aren't anything that should worry you. He was a ladies' man, sure." John shrugs, "What red blooded straight man wasn't? Nah, he's a one woman man these days. And that is just one of the things that have changed about him."

"Yeah, I know." I answered, but I was still pretty pissed.

He turned to face me, and put a gentle hand on mine, "You're just a young'n and you probably weren't ever exposed to some of the stories about Miles and Monroe." He paused. "That's a good thing, I think. Most of them were not good stories. Those two men you know today are not the same guys we knew back then. I was a Texas Ranger back in the glory days of the Monroe Republic and let me tell you, we heard a lot of stories. Some made the papers. Others were just whispered in conference rooms. I guarantee you that the last thing any of us ever would have expected was for Miles to become a benign town drunk and for Bass to settle down and be a normal guy – a family man." John let out a long breath. "And both of them in Texas of all the damned places."

I made a little grunting noise, not ready to forgive anybody just yet.

He chuckled. "I think that if the memories he's reliving are ones with cute girls in them, and not mass executions, you've got nothing to worry about."

This got my attention, "Shit, John. Don't sugar-coat anything on my account."

"Sorry, never was good at pussy-footn' around. I ain't saying anything you don't know, though. Monroe used to be a right awful son of a bitch. These days, he's a whole different animal."

I took a deep shaky breath, "I know Bass was – that they both were – different then. A lot different." I shivered, remembering that day Monroe's men came to our village and killed my dad. And I remembered when he told his goon to shoot me and Danny if my mom didn't do what he wanted. And I remembered watching the bullets from that Monroe chopper (powered by my own mother's amplifier) cut my brother down. I remember the way Bass shot that Texas Ranger (one of John's crew) in cold blood just to start a war.

"Yep." John said, "A lot different, indeed." We sat in silence for a long time, and then he spoke again. "Thing is, a man like him, with a past like his – well, I reckon he's doing pretty good these days. Got a second chance at life. Not sure he deserves it, but who am I to judge? I figure Texas killed him once for all the bad stuff he did before. Now he's got a fresh start and as long as he's trying to use it for good – well, I think you should give him a chance to do that. Those babies and you? That's all he talks about, Charlie. You are the world to him."

I felt my heartbeat slowly going back to normal, because even though I remembered all that awful stuff. I also remembered other things. I remembered Bass slicing his way through that bar in the Plains Nation when I was in trouble and I remembered how my heart ached when he was executed. I remembered when he killed my attacker in that old school and when I helped him slaughter a camp full of brainwashed teenagers. Okay, that last one isn't really a warm and fuzzy memory, but the thing is that we were doing it together. We were a team. It wasn't him vs. me anymore.

And more than that, I remembered the new stuff. The way we could laugh together. The first time we kissed. The first time we did more than kiss. I felt my cheeks go hot again and saw John chuckle out of the corner of my eye. I remembered the way we'd fought and how good he'd been to me when my Mom died, even though he hated her. I remembered how he forgave me for Connor. I remembered the letters he'd written to me from jail. I remembered the way he bought the diner and made me that bookshelf. I remembered the way he looked at me like I was his sun and his moon and his stars.

I remembered the way he loves me.

John just tipped his hat when I said I was going back to talk to Bass.

I walked back and he was waiting for me with this scared look in his eye. "I'm so sorry, Charlie. I wasn't thinking. Sometimes guys just talk shit. We were just talking shit. No girl ever has meant to me as much as you do. I love you so much, and I don't want you to be mad at –"

I walked to him and wrapped my arms around him as best as I could with an enormous belly. "Shut up, Bass. Just shut up."

"So, we're good?" Bass pleaded.

I started to answer when Miles piped up from this barstool, "He never was good at shutting up."

Ignoring Miles, I looked up into Bass's eyes and smiled. "Yeah, we're good."

* * *

 **April 30, 2030**

Betty got to town today, and based on the number of bags she brought; I could tell right away that she plans on staying. She came straight to the diner and gave me a big gentle hug, "Hey Charlie. I heard your oven has two buns in it?"

"Yeah. Surprise." I said with a laugh. It was good to see her.

"Sorry I didn't catch it myself – the twin thing. My stethoscope was outdated long before the lights went out and that was the most up to date piece of equipment I had."

"Was?"

"Yeah, well I have some news, too. I'm not as big as yours, but it's a little bit exciting." Betty said with a smile.

"Oh?" I asked, curious.

Betty answered, "I've been writing back and forth with Stephanie. We got on well when you guys were visiting Aaron, and we've kept in touch. Dr. Porter said he could use another nurse so they offered me a job. They have better equipment…better everything than I had, so I'm pretty excited."

I was beyond happy. "That is great news! Welcome to Willoughby, Betty."

"Thanks so much." She glanced around, "Is Stephanie around, or Miles or Bass maybe?"

I smirked a little, "You're sure that's who you are looking for?"

She tried to play dumb, but wasn't doing very well. "What do you mean?"

"Aaron is at his new place. It's just a couple blocks away. He's been working on his garden. I can take you there if you'd like."

"Oh really? Yes, I guess I would like that. Maybe I could stop by and say hello?" Betty was blushing and looked ten years younger.

I took her hand and we started off.

Just before I left her with (a very surprised but very happy) Aaron Pittman, Betty told me she wants to throw me a baby shower.

What on Earth is a baby shower?


	15. Chapter 15

**May 14, 2030**

Grandpa gave me a checkup this morning. Bass went with me. He always goes with me these days. So far, everything is fine with the babies. I'm tired and my back hurts but Grandpa thinks it's all normal stuff and nothing I need to worry about.

It doesn't matter. I still worry, but not as much as Bass does.

He's been having nightmares lately. I know they are about Shelley and the way she and their baby died. I haven't told him that I know what he's dreaming about. He's not getting much sleep as it is, and I want to avoid making anything worse. Hearing him cry out about 'all the blood' every night is starting to mess with my head though.

I was kind of worried before this started (who wouldn't be?) but now it's all I think about. I don't want to lose either of my babies and I definitely don't want to die. But what if I do? What if they do? Will that be the end of the new and improved Bass Monroe?

I'm afraid that if the worst happens, it would break him again. I'm not sure he could bounce back from that. I'm not saying I'm more important than the others he's lost, but I'm guessing that a person can only lose so many loved ones before they fall apart.

* * *

 **May 15, 2030**

I talked to Miles today. I've been worried about him too. He's been drinking a lot more than he ever used to. In fact, I haven't seen him sober in almost a month. The other thing I haven't seen much of? Stephanie, and definitely not Stephanie WITH Miles. Something is up.

I cornered him at the bar that's a few blocks away from the diner. It was barely noon but he was there, already sloshed.

"Miles?" I tapped his shoulder and he glanced at me with weary bloodshot eyes.

"Yeah, kid?"

"What is going on? I'm worried about you. So is Bass."

"Yeah. He told me."

"Has something happened? Is it Stephanie?"

Miles let out a long breath and then took another drink. "Told her there was no point. She needs to find someone else."

"Someone else? Why?" I couldn't remember ever seeing him so sad, not even after Mom died. That's saying something considering how broken up he was then. I guess it's a good sign that he's out and about, but just barely.

"I'm a worthless drunk. She's a smart and beautiful girl. She's still young and has a good job. She has a future."

"Maybe she wants you in her future?"

"Nah. She might think she does, but she doesn't."

"I think she really does want you in her future."

Miles stood then, banging his fists on the bar. "I don't deserve her, Charlie. I don't deserve shit."

"Miles?" My voice was just a whisper, and I was barely keeping it together. Seeing him like this…it was awful. "You deserve happiness."

"No I really fucking don't."

I started to cry then. These pregnancy hormones are a bitch. He felt terrible. I could tell just by looking at him. He pulled me close and held me while I cried. He patted my back awkwardly, "Stop Charlie. Don't cry."

"I can't not cry. You are my strong person. You are Bass's strong person. If you fall apart, what happens to us?"

"I am not strong. Not anymore."

"What brought this on? I thought you guys were happy?"

"We were, I think. Well, I thought we were happy."

"But?"

"She said I'm not over your Mom. She said I still need closure."

This sounded about right to me, but obviously he was doing it wrong. "So, you're looking for closure in a bar?"

Miles stared at me for a while, "Well, no –"

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Getting wasted so I don't have to think about any fucking closure." He picked up his bottle and emptied before slamming it down on the bar. The bartender shot him a dirty look. I pulled on Miles's hand and led him out of the bar.

"Stephanie is right. You need to say goodbye. You need to let her go."

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" He left me then. I watched as he staggered down the street.

* * *

 **May 16, 2030**

Last night Bass and I went to bed early. He was tired and he could tell I was upset. I told him about Miles and about his unwillingness to seek out closure.

"Miles never was good with emotions, Charlie."

"I know, but I want him to be happy and I think he could be, if…"

"If he'd get his shit together and say goodbye to your Mom?"

"Yeah, and then he can go grovel to Stephanie and hope she forgives him."

Bass pulled me close, and kissed my temple. "Don't think that will be a problem. She's been asking about him every time she stops in for lunch. Looks like a lost puppy."

"That makes two of them." I sighed, "Will you talk to him, Bass?"

"Yeah. I'll do it tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Of course." He slid his hand around to gently caress my belly and then up so that he could palm my breast. It felt amazing. "I'll talk to him tomorrow, but tonight I want to help you relieve some of this tension that has you so tightly wound."

"Okay." No way was I going to argue with that. "I do feel tense."

His eyes went kind of dark. "Take off your clothes."

"Uh, okay." My skin tingled with expectation as I did what he asked.

"Now come up here." He was lying on his back in the middle of our bed.

"Up there?" I was curious but also confused.

He chuckled at my inexperience, which made me frown and cross my arms. Bass's eyes flew down to my breasts. Already swollen, in this position they looked enormous. He licked his lips and when he spoke this time, the humor was gone. He was serious and focused. "Just crawl up here, Charlie. I'll show you what to do."

I was nervous and more than a little self conscious but the expression on his face told me that I should trust him, so I did. I paused over his groin. He was still wearing pants, but I could feel him hard and ready through the fabric. He shook his head no, and crooked his finger, urging me farther up…

And suddenly, I realized what he wanted me to do and I shook my head no. "That's a bad idea. I'll suffocate you with my big belly."

He smiled but shook his head again, "No, you won't. Just get up here."

I hesitated but finally did what he asked, moving up his body until my exposed sex hovered right over his face. I was feeling incredibly self conscious, but he gently wrapped his arms around my thighs and pulled me closer. I still wasn't sure if this was a good idea, but then he started licking me and I forgot everything else.

Bass is so good at so many things, but his mouth can work magic. He stroked my throbbing center with the rough of his tongue, stopping now and then to thrust it into my pussy. An unbearable tension was building inside me, coiling and swirling. I grabbed onto the headboard and began to pivot my hips, rocking against that magic tongue. He loosened his hold on my legs after he could tell I didn't need the extra support.

Then, when I was starting to think it couldn't possibly get any better, Bass used his fingers to gently fuck my pussy from behind. Oh, yes…that was better. He latched onto my clit and began to suck and that's when I broke apart, shattering into a million orgasmic bits. Holy shit.

"Holy shit." I said out loud, before shakily scooting back and looking down at his self satisfied smirk.

"So it was okay?" he asked, eyes twinkling.

I smacked him playfully, "Yeah, it was okay. Now it's my turn."

"No, you don't have to. That was for you. I know you had a rough day." He pulled me down and into his arms.

"Well, I want to… so let me." He didn't argue. I ran my hand down his body, ghosting over his collar bone and down over his pecs. Lower still, I worked my way along his tight abs and farther down still.

He was ahead of me, working to unfasten his jeans so that when I got to them, I only had to slide my hand inside and when I did he lifted his hips. Together, we worked his pants down to his thighs, leaving him bare. Bare and beautifully hard: Bass's cock is perfect, long and thick and heavily veined.

I wrapped my fingers around his shaft and began to pull slowly at first. Nearing the flared head, I opened my palm and stroked over the top, feeling the drops of pre-come accumulating there. Then I moved so that I was on my hands and knees. I licked him from base to head and he moaned which made me smile.

I opened my mouth and took him in, swirling my tongue all over his sensitive cock. I could take a lot of him into my mouth, but not all. I wrapped my hand around the base and began to firmly stroke while also sucking and licking. His hands were in my hair and he was close to release. I could tell because of his breathing and the way he began to thrust up, pushing deeper into my mouth.

I took my hand off his dick and slid my fingers farther down, softly cupping and stroking his balls. They were pulling in tight and soon he was thrusting more aggressively. I concentrated on controlling my gag reflex and let him fuck my mouth and throat. In just a few moments, he came with a growl. I swallowed it all and then, exhausted, I moved back up to his side, collapsing onto the bed.

"I'm sorry Charlie. I got carried away." He pulled me close and was lovingly rubbing my back.

"Don't be sorry. I'm not." I smiled, but it was immediately followed by a yawn. "So tired though."

I fell asleep and rested peacefully until I woke to the sound of Bass crying out in his sleep. I held him tighter, hoping to ease him through his dream. Eventually, he stopped thrashing and crying out. Sweaty and shaky, he settled back to sleep in my arms. I didn't go back to sleep. I couldn't.

* * *

 **May 17, 2030**

I got up early. Bass was still sleeping. I got dressed and snuck out. I knew that Bass was planning to go see Miles today, but I wanted to visit with him first. He was still living at Grandpa's so I let myself in and went to his room. I knocked and opened the door when I heard him mutter something that sounded a lot like 'get the hell out'.

"Good morning." I said in a forced cheerful voice.

He groaned and pressed his face into his pillow, clearly hoping I would just leave.

I didn't. "You don't have to talk. Just listen. Bass is going to come see you today. He wants to help you get through this – whatever this is." I paused, remembering Bass's restless sleep of late, "But you are going to need to help him too. You need to help each other."

Miles turned and looked at me with one bleary unfocused eye, "What?"

"Bass is really worried about me…about the babies. He's been having nightmares. He doesn't know that I know. He thinks…well, he's worried…"

Miles sits up slowly, holding his head, "Shelley." It was not a question.

"Yeah, Shelley."

"I'll talk to him. Now, go away so I can sleep some more."

I nodded and headed toward the door. He stopped me, "Hey Kid, it's gonna be okay. Bass and I – we're both messed up, but we'll get through it. We always do."

I left then, hoping he was right.

After the lunch rush, Bass told us he was taking the day off. He said he'd be back by dark and asked Edna (the old lady who makes pies for the diner) to sit with me after closing so I wouldn't be alone. Edna and I talked, but I can't really tell you about what. My mind was too preoccupied with the two most important men in my life, and hoping they could help each other.

When Bass got home, he was very drunk and didn't want to talk. I only ever heard bits of what happened. I know that they both went to visit my Mom's grave together where they talked.

I didn't push. If he wants me to know more, he'll tell me.

* * *

 **May 19, 2030**

I was at the counter today helping with the lunch crowd when Miles walked in. He looked exhausted, but he was clean and his hair was combed. He was also quite sober, but still smiling a little. I took this as a good sign. The other good sign was that right behind him was Stephanie and she was grinning.

I let out a relieved sigh. Evidently whatever Bass and Miles had talked about had worked for both of them. Miles looked like a human again, and Bass hadn't had a nightmare since their talk.

And then, of course, I was so happy that I started to cry.

Stupid hormones.

* * *

 **A/N Please comment if you have a moment. Just a few chaps left here, folks. :)**


	16. Chapter 16

**May 20, 2030**

Pickles. I want pickles. It isn't just that I want them. I crave them.

Breakfast? Pickles.

Lunch? Pickles and bread.

Dinner? Pickles dipped in John Frye's barbeque sauce.

You get the idea. Bass has been bugging me to eat other (healthier) food, and I have been, but what I want most? Pickles

* * *

 **May 22, 2030**

Today, Bass surprised me by saying we needed to talk to the preacher.

"But why?" I'd asked him.

"So we can discuss having the babies baptized."

I just stared at him blankly, "What are you talking about? What does baptized mean?"

He explained it to me then – how the preacher would say a blessing and a prayer and put a tiny bit of water on their little foreheads and it would be part of a ceremony where all of our friends would come to watch.

"I never heard of that before." I told him.

He'd looked shell-shocked, "You guys went to church, right? Miles and Ben definitely went. We all attended the same Sunday School back in Jasper."

"Yeah, but then Dad married my Mom and she thought religion was a waste of time so we never went to church."

Bass shook his head sadly, "Well, I want our babies to be baptized."

I thought about arguing, but decided against it. Best case scenario, our babies get a blessing from God. Worst case, we still get to have a party. "We do get to have a party right?"

He grinned at me then, knowing he'd won. "Yeah, Charlie. We'll have a kickass party, right after our babies get God's blessing."

I hugged him then because he was wearing that adorable little boy grin he has that melts my heart. "I love you Bass."

"Love you too, Charlie."

* * *

 **May 25, 2030**

Aaron came by the diner and asked if he could take me for a walk.

"As long as you don't mind going very slowly," I said, waddling behind him.

We'd walked about a block when he started to talk. He wouldn't look at me, and his voice was soft. "She died in my arms, Charlie. Priscilla – she wasn't herself. The Nano had taken her over again and in some ways that's a consolation. I think she was happy. She was with her girls. She couldn't feel…" he choked up a bit, then. His steps faltered. "She couldn't feel the pain from her injuries. She died in my arms and I should have been thinking about her and this loss."

"But?" I prodded softly. This was the first time Aaron had ever talked about Priscilla since she'd died. I knew this was a big step for him.

"Well, I was upset. I hated that she was dying, but I was also feeling sorry for myself. Every woman I love dies. Why? What did I ever do to deserve that?"

"Oh Aaron, you don't deserve that at all – "

He shakes his head, "I know. I know. I don't think that now. Not really, but it is what I was thinking then. My wife was dying in my arms and all I could think was woe is me. I'm awful."

I stopped and stared, "Aaron Pittman, shame on you. You are not awful. You are an amazing person. You stuck with me and Maggie when we went after Danny. You have always been there for me…when Danny died and Maggie. You were there for me when Nora died and when the bombs fell and everyone was going crazy. You were there for me when we lost my Mom and you let me tag along when you tried to move away, and –" I was crying, big sloppy tears.

Aaron walked over and pulled me into a hug, "Don't cry. I didn't say that to make you cry. What I was trying to say is that's how I felt then. Now, things are looking up."

I sniffed, "Looking up how?"

He didn't answer right away but he started smiling and it was one of those from the heart smiles and I knew. "Betty?"

"Betty. I know she's older than so the grim reaper is probably just waiting on the sidelines, but –"

"Damn, Aaron. Betty is not THAT old." I was laughing though. This was good.

"I do really like her, Charlie. She's sweet and funny and smart."

"I'm glad you found her, Aaron. You deserve another chance at love."

"Well, I owe it all to you. That's why I asked you out here today. I wanted to say thank you. You told me to take a chance, and I did. Thanks for not giving up on me even when I'd given up on myself."

* * *

 **May 26, 2030**

Bass has been really secretive these last few days. He's been spending a lot of time with Miles. Something is up. The good news is that he seems really excited about whatever is going on. That's a good sign, right?

* * *

 **May 27, 2030**

I guess I should have seen it coming, but the thing is I didn't know what to expect. The whole idea of a baby shower was so alien to me that I wasn't at all prepared.

The day was pretty much like all the other days. I helped a little in the dining room while Dylan and Brandon bussed tables and John ran the kitchen. Bass was taking orders and chatting with the customers. Edna brought in pie.

It was just an ordinary day, until I got to Grandpa's house. Bass has been giving me a guilt trip for not visiting Grandpa Gene more, and since Bass was busy tonight with Miles; it seemed like a good night to go.

So I got there and I knew Grandpa was expecting me but the house was quiet and dark. I walked through the kitchen and into the living room. I knew where the lantern was so I went over and lit it. When I turned around, I screamed in terror. Everyone I know was suddenly standing right there in the room that was empty just a second ago.

"Surprise?" Connor said sheepishly from a corner.

My heart was hammering as I scanned the room. When my eyes landed on Bass, they narrowed into angry little slits, "This was YOUR idea."

"Charlie? We just wanted to surprise you with a little baby shower. I'm so sorry that we scared you." He was walking slowly in my direction, each move deliberate. I've seen him like this before when he was trying to calm a spooked horse.

I smiled sweetly at him, "You are lucky that I peed before I walked over here or you'd have a mess to clean up. You are also lucky that I'm not armed. If I had my gun, I would have shot you."

"I told you so!" Miles yells from somewhere in the back of the room.

When Bass reaches me, he tentatively holds out his arms. "Don't be mad. This is a party."

"A party?" Now he had my attention.

"Yeah, a baby shower is a party for you and the babies. Everyone brought presents and there will be cake."

"Cake?" I frowned.

"And also pickles," he said with a knowing grin.

I let out a sigh, "Well, let's get started then, shall we?"

The party really was lovely. Grandpa Gene had decorated with brightly colored ribbons, the cake was really good and I had a big jar of pickles all to myself. Oh, and there were presents.

Betty brought little handmade teddy bears.

Aaron's present was a little toy microscope that he'd found in an attic and repaired. "They'll have to share it, but chances are at least one of them will like science."

Miles was next. "I don't know what kids like, Charlie. So I just thought about stuff I like and made small ones," he said with a shrug as he brought me his present. I opened it carefully and groaned. Nestled in the brown paper were two hand carved toy guns.

"Nice!" Bass said with a grin.

Connor had found a bunch of children's' books somewhere. Some were a little worse for wear, but all were still good enough to read to sleepy babies at bedtime.

Edna brought two beautiful baby afghans and baby bonnets, all of which she had crocheted herself using yarn produced at a nearby sheep farm.

Stephanie brought a huge box of tiny shirts and pants in varying sizes and colors, as well as a big box of cloth diapers. She'd made them all on an old treadle sewing machine.

Grandpa Gene also gave us clothes. They were in an old trunk. Half were pink. Half were blue.

"You have something you want to tell us?" Bass asked.

Grandpa shook his head with a little smile, "No, I don't know the gender of either of your babies. These belonged to Charlie and Danny. My Charlotte was always buying them new outfits even though they only visited once in a while. She never would part with any of it even after the kids were grown and then…well, I think we forgot about it. Anyway, this trunk has been in my attic for twenty years. Hopefully you can use some of these things."

When I picked up a tiny one piece blue outfit, I got all teary-eyed and emotional. Sometimes I miss Danny so much that I want to scream. Bass knew just what to do, coming up behind me and just wrapping his arms around me. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Just being there for me was enough.

John Frye was next, and he handed me an envelope. I started to open it, but he stopped me. "Nah, this is for the babies. You keep it in a safe place till I'm dead or they're all grown up – whichever comes first."

"What is in that envelope?" Bass asked.

"Well, it's the recipe for my barbeque sauce," he said sheepishly. "I don't know how to make baby clothes and I didn't know tiny weapons were an option…" Miles laughed from across the room and John continued, "So I thought about what I do have to give that's worth anything, and this sauce recipe is pretty much it. Someone should carry it on to the next generation." He shrugged. "Might as well be those babies of yours. I hope they like it."

"They will," I said, still more than a little emotional. "Especially on pickles."

Everyone laughed and then it was Bass's turn. He left for a bit but came back pushing a crib. "I've been working on it for weeks. I was going to make two, but your Grandpa said twins like to sleep all cuddled up, because that's what they are used to."

I looked at that crib and I could see just how much love Bass had put into making it. Hand carved from oak, it was beautiful. I could just picture our tiny babies wearing their soft little clothes and lying all cuddled together in the bed their daddy made for them. My heart was suddenly so full of love and happiness, I thought it might burst.

"I love it so much," I told him.

"And I love you, he said, pulling me close. He wrapped his hands around my belly, "And these little guys too."

"Or girls." I reminded him with a laugh.

"Yeah, or girls."

Sometimes I can't imagine life could ever be any better. This was one of those times.

* * *

 **A/N Comment if you have a moment.**


	17. Chapter 17

**June 1, 2030**

I scrubbed the floors in our living quarters above the diner today. I don't know why but I felt I had to do it for the baby. Betty called it 'nesting'. Whatever it was, the place has never been cleaner.

* * *

 **June 8, 2030**

Grandpa came by and gave me a checkup. He said it probably won't be long now. I've never felt this excited and also this terrified about the same event before.

* * *

 **June 13, 2030**

I think we're ready for the babies, or as ready as we're going to be. We have moved the things in our room around a bit. Our bed it kind of shoved into a corner and in the opposite corner is the crib. We have a dresser that is half baby clothes, and half our clothes. Baby blankets, the books Connor gave us and the teddy bears from Betty sit on top of the dresser.

John Frye gave us an old rocking chair and it sits next to the bed.

The room is small but cozy and I think it will be a good place to take care of our babies.

Babies! I can't believe they are almost here. I wonder what they will look like. I hope they will be healthy. I wonder if they'll love me. I worry that I'll love one more than the other. I worry about everything. Bass keeps me calm, but I know he worries too.

* * *

 **June 25, 2030**

Breathe in. Breathe out. Contractions started about an hour ago. It's late. Full dark. Bass is still sleeping.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Grandpa told me I'd probably have contractions for several hours before anything got too intense. He gave me an old pocket watch to keep track. Right now the contractions – they feel like really intense cramps – are about five minutes apart.

Breathe in. Breathe out. This hurts. A lot. Might have to wake Bass soon. Being quiet is starting to be a struggle. Honestly I want to scream.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Contractions coming faster now. Starting to worry that I should have told Bass sooner. Going to wake him now. Lots of pain.

Oh hell. Water just broke. Time to get serious. I'll update this book when it's all over. Waking Bass now.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

* * *

 **June 27, 2030**

Everything has been crazy so I'm just now getting around to writing down the rest of the story from two days ago. To say it didn't go according to plan, would be the biggest understatement ever.

Nothing went according to plan.

The pain was intense and by the time I woke Bass up the contractions were suddenly very close. He was immediately alert. I told him my water had broken and the babies were coming. I could tell he was nervous but also excited. He said he was going to run to get Grandpa.

I hoped they would get back in time.

I was pacing back and forth across the floor of our bedroom. Walking seemed to help some. Not much, but some. The pain. I can't describe the pain. I guess something like the worst menstrual cramps magnified by a thousand. I couldn't be quiet anymore. I started to yell every time a contraction hit me.

I was surprised when Bass returned just a few minutes after leaving. It takes at least five minutes to walk to Grandpa's. No way could he have gotten down there, woke Grandpa and brought him back in the time he's been gone.

I looked at Bass's face and my heart lurched. Fear overcame me in a moment. I've never known such fear. You know how an animal caught in a trap looks? Lips pulled back. Teeth showing. Eyes wild. That's how Bass looked…like he was scared to death. Bass doesn't get scared. So seeing him like that, it terrified me. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He didn't even have time to answer before I figured it out for myself. Two men who I didn't know and had never seen before came in right behind Bass. One had a shot gun. The other had a really big revolver. Both had machetes hanging from their belts. They were dirty and disgusting and from the look in their eyes, they weren't here to wish us well.

Bass started toward me, but the taller of the two guys – he had red hair and a weird scar on his cheek – yanked Bass back, holding the revolver against Bass's temple. Red turned to me, "Hey little lady, we need your money and then we'll be on our way."

I opened my mouth to say the money wasn't there (John Frye took it to the town bank after closing just like he does every day), but I could tell from Bass's expression that he didn't want me to tell them the truth. Before I could come up with a passable lie, I was having another contraction. This one was worse than all the others. I doubled up in agony.

Bass gritted his teeth, "She's in labor you asshole. Let me go so I can help her."

"Nah. We want our money."

The contraction lessened enough that I was able to hobble over to the bed and sit down. I looked at Bass and our eyes held. He didn't look scared anymore. Now he just looked pissed. He looked completely like scary General Monroe and I felt a shiver. These idiots had no idea what they'd done. He had a plan and I understood roughly what it was right away. We've always been able to converse without words. It's strange, but it works. I nodded and saw a glimmer of relief on Bass's face.

I'm not a former General, but I'm no pansy either. Labor or no labor, I'll help my man get rid of these bastards so we can get back to what's important – having our babies.

"I'm in labor. Need a doctor." I panted out. That last contraction had been intense. My whole body was shaking.

"We need your money." This time, the shorter one spoke. He had black hair but I noticed he looked a lot like Red. Probably brothers.

"Are you gonna deliver my babies?" I asked. "Cause they're coming whether or not I have a doctor here."

Black Hair shook his head, and pointed his shotgun at me. "No. You better just hold your baby inside your belly. We don't want nothing to do with that. Where's the money?"

"There is no goddamned money," Bass growled. "Now, get out."

"Liar. We sat across the street all afternoon and saw how many people were coming in and out. This place is a gold mine. We're gonna need that gold." Red chuckles at his own stupid joke and this was the first time he looked over at me, which meant he wasn't looking at Bass.

Black Hair was laughing with his brother and also not looking at Bass or me. They thought they had it all under control. This was a mistake.

Bass charged Red and knocked him down easily. He grabbed the revolver and slammed the butt of the gun into Red's head. Black Hair pointed his rifle in Bass's direction and that's when I had reached my breaking point. We've always kept daggers under the mattress. One on each side. "His and Hers," Bass had said when he'd suggested it months ago.

As Black Hair walked closer to me, I grabbed my belly with one hand. I was moaning. It hurt, so I wasn't faking the pain. It distracted him though. His eyes were wide as he looked at my huge stomach.

"Hell Lady, you keep that baby inside –" He stopped talking then. I'd pulled out the dagger with the hand he wasn't paying attention to, and thrown it with all my might. The blade buried perfectly in his chest. Black Hair looked down but didn't have time to process what he saw before he fell in a bloody heap on the floor.

"That's my girl," Bass grinned. "I'll go get your Grandpa now."

"No time," I grunted. "Gotta push."

Bass's face went white and the fear was back. I could tell where his mind was going. Shelley.

"Bass, pay attention. These babies are coming. It's gonna be okay. We both read that book. We can do this." I tried to smile reassuringly but the first baby was coming and it hurt like a son of a bitch. "BASS!" I yelled.

He came out of his memories and burst into action. He ran to the window, trying to open it. That window was always getting stuck and Bass had no patience for it that day. He grabbed Red's gun and used it to bust out the glass. He yelled out the window, "Need a doctor. Help!" Then he was back to me. "Let's see." He said, his voice was tense.

I pulled my night dress up over my belly. I'd taken off my panties when my water broke, so I was bare when I spread my legs and pulled my knees up a bit.

"Oh fuck me." Bass said as he saw for himself how far things had progressed. He sounded terrified and awestruck all at once. "I can see the head."

I was breathing in and out the way Grandpa and Stephanie had taught me. I felt like I had to push. "Need to push." I ground out through gritted teeth. Bass nodded, moving closer. He looked at me, "Push, Charlie. I'm ready."

I pushed, hard. I felt something shift, but wasn't sure if I was making any progress. I didn't want to look.

"You're doing good. Hold it right there. I'm going to clear the baby's mouth."

"You can see the mouth?" I was back to breathing carefully. My eyes were cranked shut.

"Yeah, the head is out. Charlie, you are amazing."

In just a moment he told me to push again and I did. And then again. When the baby slid out of my body, it was the strangest feeling. Bass grasped the tiny slippery thing and turned away from me a bit. I saw only a glimpse of bloody and smeary baby.

The baby wasn't moving. Wasn't crying. "Bass?" I asked, panicked. "What's wrong?"

"Not sure." He sounded like I felt. He did something and then I saw him grasp the tiny baby feet and hold the baby upside down and carefully hit the baby's back with a flat palm. He did this twice before we heard a gasping cry and then the room was filled with pathetic little baby wails. Bass turned to me and grinned. "She's okay."

"She?"

"Yeah," He was smiling so proudly as he laid our baby girl next to me on the bed. Her cord was still attached to me and that's when we both remembered what should have been obvious. Another baby was coming.

"Gotta push again," I said loudly. I had to talk loudly to be heard over the baby's cries.

Bass got into position, and this time it was easier. The second baby popped out after one push. This one wasn't shy and the screams of two tiny babies filled the room. Bass sat the second baby next to the first. Both babies were bloody and gooey. Their skin was red and scrunchy. If they weren't mine, I might have said they looked pretty awful.

They are mine though, and they were beautiful and perfect.

Bass and I were both staring down at them, amazed and completely in love. We weren't watching the guy near the door. Bass had hit Red so hard; I think we both thought he was down for the count. We both heard something and turned. Red was standing and reaching for the machete at his side.

I've never seen Bass move so fast. He charged Red and took the knife right out of his hand before shoving it up through his throat. Blood spurted everywhere as Red's eyes rolled back and he fell to the floor.

Bass was back at my side instantly, inspecting me and checking me everywhere. "What about the babies?" I asked, desperate to be reassured that they were all right.

"They are fine. Lungs like that, we got no worries. I just want to make sure you are okay. I need you to be okay." He was frantic again. I could tell he was expecting the worst to still happen.

I reached over and grasped his face in my hands and brought him closer so that his face was very close to mine. I looked into his eyes, "I'm okay," I whispered, smiling.

I felt the relief wash over him and he smiled back.

That's when we heard someone running up the stairs. Maybe more than one someone. I scrambled to get between my babies and the door. I also yanked my gown – now a bloody mess – down over my nakedness. Bass pulled the machete from Red's body and was ready, eyes wild once again.

Miles burst in, looking frantic. "What the fuck?" he asked as Bass let the knife clatter to the floor. Utter relief washed over me, and I know it did for Bass too. Now that Miles was here, we didn't have to focus on self defense. He would watch out for us while we looked out for our babies.

Stephanie came in moments after Miles and stopped short. They both stared around the room. Every surface seemed to be covered in blood. "Holy shit." Miles said in awe, "Where did the dead guys come from?"

Bass started to tell him the story while Stephanie came over and looked at the babies. "They're both perfect," she said with a smile. "You guys did a great job."

She helped me deliver the placenta and then she cut the cords, using some little scissors from the medical bag she'd brought along. By the time that was done, Grandpa had shown up too, followed by Betty and Aaron.

Miles rounded up a sleepy John Frye to help dispose of the bodies. Bass and I held the babies. They are both adorable and perfect. Grandpa said they are healthy and good sized for twins.

Grandpa ushered everyone out except for Stephanie and Betty. He told Bass and Miles to bring lots of hot water. Stephanie helped Grandpa clean the babies up. Betty helped me get into the bath. When we were all clean, Betty fashioned a giant diaper for me out of a big towel. You would not believe how much I was still bleeding. I was worried at first, but Grandpa said it was totally normal. They got me dressed in a clean night gown and settled me on the couch in the living room. Grandpa brought one of the babies over to me and said, "This little lady needs to eat."

Betty and Stephanie helped me get started. Breast feeding is an odd feeling, and I was nervous that I'd do it wrong, but the little girl in my arms knew what to do and latched on quickly. Her eyes were a startling blue with long lashes. She looked up at me and I couldn't imagine loving anyone as much as I loved this baby.

Grandpa brought in the other baby then and sat beside me. "She's going to want a turn soon too." I looked over at the second baby and felt exactly the same way that I had about the first one. How was my heart even big enough to love them both so much already? I can't explain it, but I've never felt such peace and happiness.

Miles and Bass returned. Bass took the second baby from Grandpa and took his place next to me.

Miles shook his head, watching us. "Two girls?" I can't believe it.

"Believe it," Bass said with a huge grin.

After the babies had eaten, Stephanie helped Bass dress them and Betty helped me put on a new towel diaper. I was so sore and my legs were shaky as they led me back to bed. Someone had been busy. The room was clean. The bed was made with clean sheets. Everything was like it was supposed to be. No blood anywhere.

Bass disappeared for a while but only because Miles threatened to tie him up and forcefully remove him if he didn't go on his own. They both reappeared a little while later, all washed up and wearing clean clothes.

I was settled back in my bed. Bass brought over one of the babies and then he went back and got the other one. We all lay in the bed together. Bass and I just watched them quietly while they took turns nursing.

I was exhausted – not just my body. My brain was tired too. Bass took the sleeping babies and laid them carefully in the crib before settling back next to me and pulling me close.

"You were amazing," he whispered against my ear.

"You too," I sighed. "You too."

"Our girls are perfect….just like their Mama," he said with a yawn.

"And their Daddy," I added sleepily.

As the sun rose outside our window, we drifted off. Stephanie and Miles were sitting in our living room, keeping watch so we could sleep.

Sleep is what we did too, for about two hours. Then our little angels woke us up, and we didn't mind at all.

* * *

 **A/N Leave a comment if you have a moment. :)**


	18. Chapter 18

**July 16, 2030**

Our girls are three weeks old today.

The wispy hair they'd been born with is now curling softly on their little crowns. Their lashes are longer. Their eyes seem bluer. They are the most beautiful babies in the entire world.

Sometimes I just watch them sleep. I watch their tiny chests rise and fall with each breath they take. I watch their little fingers stretching and grasping at air. I watch their little lips puckering or crying or even changing into tiny smiles.

Miles said that they weren't real smiles. He said the babies were just farting. I'm still pretty emotional about some things, and I cried so much that Miles left with terror in his eyes. He came back later with his tail between his legs and a very pissed off Bass Monroe pushing him my way.

Miles wouldn't meet my gaze, "Listen. I'm sorry about what I said. Of course your babies were smiling. I'm a dick." He'd looked back at Bass with this desperate expression, begging his best friend silently to be allowed to run away.

Bass shook his head. Miles exhaled slowly, "And besides, beautiful little girls don't even fart at all. And if they did, it would smell like roses." He smirked just a little then and looked at Bass again. Bass's face lost all of its seriousness as he began to smirk too.

Then they were both laughing and I couldn't help it. I was laughing with them.

* * *

 **July 17, 2030**

Today was the best day ever, even if we did spend a lot of it in church.

Bass has been working non-stop for the last week to get everything ready for the baptism. I offered to help, but he just shook his head and smiled. It was one of his really good smiles that melts my heart and soaks my panties. It seemed so important to him to take care of all of the preparations, so I let him. Besides, I know nothing about baptisms and I was entirely too busy watching our babies sleep and cuddling them and nursing them and learning all their sounds to be bothered talking to the preacher.

Have I mentioned that I love being a Mom? Because I do. Sometimes it still surprises me, to be honest, but these sweet little girls? They have changed me.

Anyway, we took the girls to the church when it was time. Edna had made them these long white gowns with a little bit of lace around the hem and tiny matching bonnets. They looked like little angels.

When we got to the little church, everyone was already there. Miles and Stephanie were sitting up front. Edna had come of course. She'd brought Joe and Heather. It was nice to see the Mathews family all together. John Frye had brought his wife. Grandpa was there and of course Aaron and Betty. Connor was sitting not far from Heather (typical lately, to be honest). Frank Blanchard had even shown up and brought a handful of Rangers with him. There were others too. All the regulars from the diner had come. Familiar faces from Willoughby filled the pews.

Everywhere I looked, I saw family. Not just family by blood – that's a small group these days, after all. Over time, my family has become a whole lot more than shared DNA. I got misty eyed then, looking out over all of them. My people. My family.

I couldn't stop smiling. Bass had one baby and I had the other.

The baptism was pretty simple. The minister (an old guy with a long grey beard and kind eyes) asked Bass and me to step forward. He asked us if we would promise to raise the babies so that they would always feel loved and that we would teach them about God. I wasn't sure what I could teach them about that, but Bass's 'yes' was loud enough for both of us. The minister said a prayer and dipped his fingers in a bowl of water before brushing it against their tiny foreheads.

After the prayer part was over, it was time for the big reveal. Up to this point Bass and I had kept the babies' names secret. Miles has been calling them 'Thing One' and 'Thing Two'. I was irritated at first, but then I realized that Miles was just being a jerk because he wanted to be in on the secret.

Bass held one of the babies. Her blue eyes were trained on his face. When he looked at her, you could see the pride and adoration shining through. I looked down at the other baby, cradled in my own arms, and I figure it was pretty obvious that I felt the same as Bass does. These tiny girls are our whole world.

He looked up at me then. His eyes glistening as he looked into mine. I was wrong. These girls aren't our whole world – not entirely. Without Bass, none of this would be the same. They are my world: these beautiful babies and their equally beautiful daddy.

I cleared my throat before speaking at the smiling faces, "Thank you all for coming today. We are so glad you were able to share this day –"

"Yeah, yeah. You're glad we're here. Just tell us their names!" Miles yelled from his seat next to Stephanie. He was grinning and his grin only grew wider as we heard his sentiment echoed through the large room.

I shot Miles a dirty look. "Like I was saying, thank you for coming today. I know that a lot of you are curious about the names we have selected for our little girls. It was not an easy decision."

Bass chuckled beside me, muttering, "Understatement."

"It was difficult because we both had very different ideas of what would be perfect. Bass is a bit obsessed with Civil War history, as many of you may know." This was met with nods and a few chuckles from the group.

Bass continued, "And Charlie was determined to name the girls after her favorite characters from books, because she loves to read, and certain fictional characters have made a big impact on her life."

"In the end, we picked names that include both a Civil War reference and a nod to my favorite ladies from fiction."

Miles stood up then and threw his hands in the air, "For fuck's sake, tell us their names!"

The minister glowered at Miles and he apologized sheepishly. I looked at Bass and he nodded. I took a deep breath and stepped forward. "I'd like you to meet Dixie."

Bass took a step up as well, holding out Dixie's sister. "And this little lady is Maisi."

"Dixie and Maisi? I don't get it." Miles looked back and forth blankly.

Bass grinned, "Dixie's full name is Dixon Josephine & Maisi's full name is Mason Elizabeth."

We were met with a lot of blank stares as everyone digested this new information. Slowly, people started to smile and nod.

Stephanie smiled. "So, I get the Mason/Dixon Civil War connection. Elizabeth and Josephine? Did you pick those because of Lizzie Bennett and Jo March?"

"Yes!" I said with a big smile. " _Pride and Prejudice_ and _Little Women_ are two of my all-time favorites."

"Excellent choices." Stephanie smiled approvingly.

Miles was frowning, "So, why did he get the first names and you only got the middle ones?"

I scowled at my uncle, "I guess because while I was trying to push our babies out of my body, he was not only helping me deliver them but also killing intruders who wished us harm." I smiled over at Bass then and he was beaming in my direction.

Bass still had a sleepy baby tucked in one elbow, but he moved closer and wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, "Well, in all fairness, you did kill one of them yourself."

Within a few minutes, the folks in the church were standing and talking and Bass looked away from me to watch them for a moment. Edna walked up and took Maisi from his arms, cooing softly at her. Bass took that moment to walk over to the minister. Stephanie came up and I handed Dixie over. I watched Bass curiously. He was having a rather animated conversation with the minister. I was inwardly hoping he wasn't signing me up to teach Sunday School when he turned around and let out a loud whistle.

Both of the babies startled and began to cry just a bit. He looked over at me and mouthed "Sorry" before turning back to the folks, most of whom were milling around talking. "Could I get your attention please? If it's not too much trouble, I'd like for all of you to stick around for a little while. I promise the reception will still be waiting for us."

Everyone was watching him, including me. None of us knew what this was all about. Bass walked over to me and grasped my hands. "I love you, Charlie."

"I know. I love you too."

"And our babies… I love them so much."

"Me too." I was getting emotional because of the way he was looking at me but also because I felt something between us shift. He squeezed my hands reassuringly.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Good." I said with a smile, "because you are stuck with me."

"Not stuck enough." I could see tears in his eyes, but they were the happy kind. My heart lurched as he bent to kneel on one knee. "Will you marry me, Charlotte?"

I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open in shock. I'm sure I looked like an idiot. He swallowed hard and I could tell he was starting to doubt that this was a good idea. The room around us was totally silent. Even the babies seemed to realize this was a big deal.

"Married?" I finally choked out. In my head I was remembering how my Mom and Dad were together when I was a kid. I remembered all the fighting and the yelling. Sometimes they got along, but they spent just as much time fighting. I remember the tension and the anxiety. Even as a child, I knew that my parents did not have a healthy relationship.

Bass is always so in tuned with my feelings and he figured out what was wrong. He stood, but kept my hands in his, and his eyes were locked on mine. "I know you don't have warm and fuzzy feelings about your parents' marriage, but I think you know what we have is different. It's better. It's real. I won't promise that it will be easy, but I promise never to give up. I promise to love you and our kids for the rest of my life."

"Bass?" I said.

He ignored me and kept talking. "I hope you know that I would do everything in my power to make you happy. I would do –"

"Okay." I cut him off mid thought. "Okay, I'll marry you."

"You will?"

"Well, yeah. Of course I will. You just surprised me, Bass."

He picked me up and was swinging me around and everyone in the church was cheering or crying and some people were doing both.

It was Miles of course, who yelled out, "Can you just do it now? I'll be lucky if they let me back in here after today."

The minister chuckled. "The man has a point."

Bass stopped spinning me and smiled out at Miles. "You're reading my mail, brother. I just asked the minister the same thing. He said we can do it right now. Not like we have to wait for a license or anything these days, and the reception is waiting." Then he looked down at me again. "Wanna do it right now?"

This time I knew my answer without hesitating. "Yes. Yes I do."

It was a bit of a hot mess, but after about five minutes of planning, we got started. Grandpa gave me away. Miles was best man and Stephanie stood up with me. They each held one of the girls during the ceremony. Miles acted like it was quite an inconvenience, but when he thought I wasn't looking, I saw him lean in close and kiss her tiny cheek.

I had been worried about what I was wearing. I haven't been to a lot of weddings of course, but I know brides are supposed to wear white. I had worn a dress, and for that I was very grateful. It is a soft sky blue sun dress that is snug around the top, showing off my suddenly enormous boobs (thank you baby girls). I had my hair down, but pulled back from my face and the little arrow pendent Bass had given me hung from its chain around my neck. I was wearing my boots because they are comfortable and really the only shoes I own.

Bass didn't seem to mind. He told me I looked beautiful. I told him he didn't look half bad himself. The truth is that Bass looked sharp in a simple white button down shirt and brown pants.

I don't remember any of the stuff that the minister said or our vows or anything. All I remember is being nervous until I saw the way Bass was looking at me and then all the worry just faded away. I repeated everything I was told to, but I never took my eyes off his.

Before we knew it, we had been pronounced husband and wife. Bass came in for a kiss and it was not what I expected for a church kiss, not that I've thought about this a lot before today. His mouth was hot and aggressive as he pulled me close. His hands slid down to cup my ass just as his tongue slid through my lips. Even though I knew this was probably far from appropriate, I couldn't help myself. I dug in, kissing him back with all I had.

I was in a haze of need and happiness when I heard Miles. "Tongue in church? Pretty sure I'm not the only one they aren't going to let come back."

The moment was effectively broken as everyone laughed and cheered. Stephanie and Miles handed us the girls and we walked back down the aisle together as a family.

The reception was lovely. Miles ended up getting very drunk (even for him) and by the end of the evening he was muttering about life choices and responsibility and pulling Stephanie into his lap. Later, as the party was dying down, we watched Miles flip Stephanie up and over his shoulder and take her home cave-man style.

"They are happy, aren't they?" I asked Bass.

"Yeah. Wouldn't be surprised if they got married too."

I tried to imagine Miles with a wife and found that it wasn't as weird as I might have expected, at least not if Stephanie is his lucky lady. Bass agreed and we continued to chat until Aaron and Betty walked up.

"So, we've been thinking." Aaron said with a nervous smile.

"And?" Bass asked, clearly amused.

"We thought you guys might want a break, so if you will give us whatever we need, we'll watch the girls for a few hours tonight. What do you think?"

"What about food?" Bass asked. He looked skeptical. "Do you have a crib?"

Betty smiled, "I gave Charlie an old manual pump. We could get a few bottles ready in a little while. We don't have a crib, but I do have a big wicker laundry basket. They would fit in it nicely on top of a light blanket, and we'd be there the whole time watching over them."

"I actually have two bottles ready in the bag we brought. I didn't know how long we'd be here or if I'd have a place." I love my babies more than anything, but the idea of a night off did sound nice. I've really missed alone time with Bass.

So, we let them take our little girls down the street to their cottage. Each carried a baby in one arm and Betty also carried the heavy diaper bag.

My heart lurched painfully. Maisi and Dixie have been with me constantly since they were born and I know it sounds ridiculous because I've only known them for three weeks, but those three weeks have changed me forever. I'm a mom now. Watching my babies be carried away ripped me up inside, even though I knew that Aaron and Betty would take the best care of them. It didn't matter. I felt strangely empty. Bass understood without me even having to voice my feelings. "It's going to be fine. We need a little break. That is all this is, Mrs. Monroe…a break. We'll have them back before you know it."

I smiled up at my new husband and took his hand and we headed home.

It was laughable, really. When we got to our place we were both nervous. Weird right? We've had sex a thousand times and he's delivered our babies. There are no secrets between us, and yet I felt like a child who had no idea what to do. And in all honesty, there is some stuff we have been advised to avoid. Parts of my body won't be ready for a few more weeks….not for the kind of stuff we like best. Still, everything felt awkward. He left our room to freshen up. I panicked for a minute, wondering what I should do. I didn't have anything special to wear…or did I?

I fell to my knees beside the dresser and started digging. It took me a few minutes, and I almost gave up, but then I found it. The blue silk gown I'd purchased as a Christmas gift for Bass….the blue silk gown I'd never worn for him because I left town before we could celebrate Christmas and it wasn't going to fit by the time we reconciled.

I prayed in hopes that after the day we'd had, maybe the Big Guy upstairs might have pity on me. As I took off the light blue dress, and undergarments, I eyeballed the vivid blue gown I'd laid out on the bed. "Please fit. Please fit. Please fit."

Naked, I looked down at my body. My boobs were huge, and frankly starting to ache a bit. I'd have to pump soon. I felt down my torso with nervous fingers. My belly had always been so tight before I'd gotten pregnant. Now it was soft. I crossed my fingers and pulled the gown down over my head. The fabric was soft and supple. It hugged my body in a way that hid most of my new post-baby flaws. I grinned gratefully at my reflection in the narrow mirror by the door. This was going to work. My breasts looked bigger than usual (which, believe me, is saying something) and they were pushed up, showing off a lot of cleavage. The gown fitted snugly to a point around my belly button where if flared out, swirling softly around my thighs.

I was still staring at my reflection in the mirror when I heard Bass come into our room. He walked over, standing behind me. I looked up and our eyes met in the wavy glass. His gaze was hot and I felt it burn its way down to my core. We didn't speak as he ran his fingertips down my arm slowly. I shuddered, leaning back into him. He was bare chested, wearing loose grey sleep pants that hung low on his hips. I almost asked if he liked my gown, but I knew the answer already. It was hard and digging into my lower back.

He dipped his head to nuzzle my throat, moving his hands up to caress my breasts. He knows how tender they are, how they swell and the flesh gets hot when they are full. He stroked the swell of each with careful fingers, testing their weight in his palms as he kissed my neck and sucked lightly on my ear lobe.

"Bass." I whimpered.

"Yeah, Charlie?"

"Bed?"

"Bed."

We made our way to our bed and proceeded to touch and stroke and explore. Since there were things we couldn't do just yet, we mostly talked and cuddled. He rubbed my back and I used my hand to get him off. He said something about it being like high school, and I wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but the way he was smiling at me told me he wasn't complaining. We just enjoyed each other for hours. It was sweet and loving and perfect.

Everything was perfect except for one thing.

I missed them. I missed my baby girls so much that I started to cry. Bass realized right away what was wrong and without even saying anything he stood up and got dressed. I did the same and we walked all the way down to Betty's house and surprised the hell out of Aaron and Betty – who if I didn't know better – might have been in the middle of a make out session of their own.

As soon as she saw it was us at the door, Betty had smiled knowingly. She led the way in to where they were sleeping soundly in the basket Betty had prepared for them. Carefully she lifted one and then the other, handing us each a sweet little bundle.

Once we had them, we started home.

We walked in silence for a few moments. The night was clear and bright thanks to a full moon. When I spoke, my voice was quiet. "I don't understand how she did it."

"Your mom?" I marveled once again at how this man can read my mind.

"Yeah, how did she leave us? I can't even…"

"She was wired differently than you are Charlie. You are an amazing mother."

"And you are pretty amazing too." I felt tears on my cheeks but I smiled up at him in spite of them.

"This is true," he teased me.

We got home and I fed the girls before we put them down in their bed. We stood there watching them as they slept. I sighed. "I'm sorry I made you get out of bed so we could go get them."

Bass chuckled and put his arm around my shoulders, "Ah, I was about thirty seconds from going after them myself. I missed them too. My girls…all three of you. You are my life. Love you Mrs. Monroe."

"Love you too Mr. Monroe."

* * *

 **A/N: Thanks to Romeo for an assist with this chap. You are a peach! There will probably be one more chapter here to wrap this one up. The next update you will see from me will be for Discovery. Leave a comment if you have a moment. -Lemon**


	19. Chapter 19

**June 25, 2032**

So, I've been busy. No idea if anyone will ever read anything I've written in this book, but just in case someone is reading it, you should know I never intended to wait two years to make an update. The thing is, sometimes real life gets in the way of writing about real life…

So I guess I should update you on what's been going on these last two years.

We still own the diner. John Frye runs it and he and his wife live upstairs in our old place. We'd outgrown it pretty quickly after the girls were born. Now we live in a little house on the edge of town, not far from where Aaron and Betty live. We have a yard and two bedrooms. The girls love our new place.

Maisi and Dixie are amazing. First of all, they are beautiful. They look a lot alike but are very different. Maisi is silly and Dixie is more serious. They both adore Bass and Miles, following them around like those two guys hung the moon. It's pretty adorable, really. Miles pretends to be a tough guy, but those girls are his weakness. Truth is that they are also Bass's weakness and mine too.

You should have seen them when Maisi needed to have her appendix out. This was a couple months ago now. Luckily, she was playing with Stephanie when the pain started. Mama Steph (as the girls call her) knew right away what was wrong. She yelled for help and it wasn't long before she and Betty had my baby in emergency surgery. I was a mess, but Bass and Miles? They were beside themselves. This was not long after we'd learned the truth about…well, everything, and that definitely had an impact on Miles.

What truth? Yeah, I'm getting to it.

You know, when I was a child, I remember sitting with my Dad at bedtime. I had this Hello Kitty bedspread and we would sit on the edge of my bed while he read me stories. It was always him reading and never my Mom. In her defense, she did try. It just didn't work. She didn't have the story telling skill that Dad had. He would use different voices and he would make faces and he told every story with so much emotion that I always felt like I was in the middle of each tale.

My favorite book when I was little was The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. It was this story of a little boy who loves a tree. He never stops loving it. The story follows him as he grows old and so does the tree. In the end the tree is cut down, but the boy (who is now an old man) loves what is left of the tree just as much as he loved the tree itself. That book is about love and sacrifice and the older I get, the more I can relate…not just to the boy, but to the tree too.

I know. I know. It's weird.

Anyway, Bass found a copy of that book at a traveling flea market near Austin last year. As soon as he brought it to me, I started reading it to the girls. It's now their favorite story too.

The reason I even mention that book is that I was reading it to the girls the night everything changed. It was dark out and they were sleepy and cuddled up close at my sides. Bass was in the other room reading a book of his own. He always lets me do the story time and then he goes in and gives the girls a kiss before bed. I hadn't really gotten that far into the story when Miles came in. It was weird for him to visit so late. The girls squealed when they saw him and they crawled up into his lap and asked him to finish the story.

And he did. His voice was unsure at first. I could tell he hadn't read aloud in a long time, but after maybe two pages, he was really getting into it. His voice was perfectly soft but full of emotion. The girls were rapt.

So was I. There was something in the way he read to the girls that was so reminiscent of my Dad reading to me…well, I was fighting back tears. He helped me tuck them in and then we left the girls' room. Bass was in the kitchen. He looked…emotional, which was weird. I went to him and asked what was wrong. He didn't say, but asked if the girls were ready for a good night kiss. I just said yes. He squeezed my shoulders and then went back to their room.

"What was that all about?" I asked Miles.

He sighed and suggested we go outside to talk. We settled into the porch swing and I waited. I could tell he wasn't going to talk till he was good and ready. Finally, he reached into his coat and pulled out a little leather book. "Found this today." He handed it to me.

I took it from him, curious. "What is it?"

He leaned forward and stared into the darkness. "It's a journal, Charlie. Your Mom's journal. Found it when I was going through some of Gene's stuff."

I felt a pang. Grandpa died just a few months ago, and that pain is still fresh. Miles and Stephanie are clearing everything out so that they can move in. Miles had been bringing me things for days. Up till then, the things he'd brought had mostly been old photos and keepsakes.

He'd found a stack of love letters written by my Grandma Charlotte. Those letters has been eye-opening to say the least. Evidently writing down the details of one's sex life was a pastime that she and I shared. I closed my eyes, holding the book tightly in my fingers without opening it. I prayed that the interest in writing personal sexual accounts had skipped a generation, because reading about my parents…that was too much. I was scarred enough, knowing what I now know about my grandparents.

"So, you should probably read it." Miles didn't sound sure at all. I could tell there was something he wasn't telling me.

"Why?"

He shook his head. "Just read it, okay? Start on the page where I have the corner turned down."

I felt my heartbeat start to ratchet up. Something was wrong.

I opened to the page that he'd marked and I started reading. "Wait. What?" My voice sounded shaky suddenly. This couldn't be. "Miles?" I was staring at him, but he still wouldn't look at me. "MILES? What is this?"

He looked at the page I was reading. "Shit. Not that page. The other one…"

I shook my head in the negative. I was not reading anymore.

He sighed, "Listen. Your Mom and I were involved before…a long time ago."

"Yeah, I get that." I dropped the book like it was made of fire. Evidently the generation skipping thing had been wishful thinking on my part.

"Well, did you see the date?"

I looked at him blankly for a minute. I was still trying to process the fact that I'd just read vivid details about my Mom screwing my Uncle, and he was worried about dates? "Wait. What?" I was repeating myself, I know.

He picked it up and opened it to the page he wanted me to read. He pushed it in front of me and pointed at the date at the top of the page.

"March 2005?"

He nodded. "Your Dad was in Massachusetts for a stint in a lab at MIT that spring. Your Mom was lonely and I was back on an extended leave. It was after I got shot in Fallujah. They wouldn't re-deploy me till I was recovered. I was staying in Chicago. Things…" He put his head in his hands then and his voice was muffled. "It shouldn't have happened."

"But it did?" I asked. "In 2005?"

"Yeah."

"My mind was spinning. I was born in July 2006."

"Yeah."

"So, you are my…" I couldn't say it.

"Maybe." He shook his head. "Probably. Probably, yes. Yes. Yes, I am."

I could feel tears building. "How sure are you?"

"Well, I always wondered. I'm not stupid. I knew there was a chance. She told me you were Ben's. Told me she got pregnant when he came home for a weekend visit."

"Maybe that was true?" I wasn't sure what to think. On one hand, the idea of Miles being my father was kind of nice. On the other hand, my heart ached for my Dad – the only dad I'd ever known. Images of Ben Matheson filled my mind. Hugs and late night snacks. Teaching me to ride my bike. Consoling me after Johnny Hoyle broke my heart in first grade. Making me root beer floats while we watched Bugs Bunny. Building forts for me and Danny using bed sheets and kitchen chairs…watching him die, his last request for me to find Miles…

Miles reached for my hand. I jerked away from him. "Maybe that was true?" I asked again, my face was wet with tears. "Maybe Ben was my Dad?"

"I also found this." Miles handed me a folded paper.

I took it. My hands were trembling. "What is this?"

"It's a letter from your Mom. She must have written it before she left for Bradbury. You should read it, She wrote it to me and there's a lot of stuff that doesn't really matter, but when it comes to your father… well, she's very clear. Ben was your…"

"My Dad?" I stood then, feeling unsteady.

"Your uncle." Miles whispered. "Ben was your uncle."

I collapsed onto the floor of the porch. This was too much. Miles reached for me, but I couldn't let him touch me. Seeing him. Knowing who he was. It all felt like a betrayal to my real dad. Ben.

Miles staggered back, his face torn with regret. Bass appeared, kneeling next to me. He was speaking quietly, soothing me as best he could.

"You knew?" I asked Bass.

"Not till he showed up tonight. He told me just before he went in for story time." Bass sounded sad and also worried. I knew that even though this was probably very tough on him too, he was worried for me. I crumpled into my husband's arms and I cried. I cried for a long time.

I know what you're thinking. A bit dramatic, right?

Yeah, I know.

Here's the thing. It wasn't until two days later, when I was eating pickles out of a jar with a fork, and still not talking to Miles no matter how many times he came by…that it dawned on me. "Oh hell. I'm pregnant." I ran my hand across my jaw, doing the math. Yeah, there was no escaping this particular truth. "Well, shit."

The girls were sitting at the kitchen table just a few feet away from me, nibbling on slices of brown bread smothered with apple butter. They both looked up at me with surprised eyes.

Maisi grinned. "Oh hell." She said, repeating my own words.

Dixie (always the more serious one) frowned at her sister. "Well, shit," she said with a little nod.

I rolled my eyes, put the lid back on my jar of breakfast pickles and shook my finger at the beautiful cherubs with the dirty mouths. "Don't use those words, girls. Mommy should not have said them either."

"Fuckin A." Dixie said, frowning. "Those are bad words."

I groaned. That was something she'd picked up from her Great Uncle Miles. No. I shook my head, correcting myself. Grandpa. She's learned that from her Grandpa.

It was time for me to talk to him. Time for me to talk to my father.

* * *

That was four months ago. Miles and I are doing better now. I can't call him Dad. I just can't. He understands. The fact that the girls call him Grandpa is more than he ever expected anyway. He dotes on them even more than he used to. He and Mama Steph still watch Maisi and Dixie for several hours two days a week, just like they always have. If I'm honest, it was probably one of those lazy child-free afternoons where Monroe Baby number three was conceived.

Bass and I never have let being parents get in the way of our love for each other. He remains my best friend, my partner, my love. Okay, so maybe I'm getting overly emotional again.

I blame the hormones.

I'm due in a couple months. I'm pretty sure this baby is a boy, but we'll see. I'll be happy either way. Bass is nervous because that's how he is, but I think after the girls' entrance into the world; he's thinking we can do anything.

As long as we're together.

He's right. We can. We can do anything at all.

* * *

 **A/N: That's it. Well, there will be an epilogue, but this was the last true 'entry' in Charlie's Journal. I hope you enjoyed this story. It's been a lot of fun to write. Please leave a comment if you have a moment.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Epilogue: August 14, 2047**

My name is Mason Elizabeth Monroe, but everyone calls me Maisi. I have never written in a diary before, but this seems like as good a time to start one as any.

I am seventeen years old and I am madly in love.

This boy who I love is smart and kind. He has sparkling brown eyes and a wide smile. He has a wonderful sense of humor and he's always making me laugh. When I see him, my heart begins to hammer in my chest and my palms drip with sweat. I don't think he has any idea how much he means to me.

His name is Henry.

Just writing about him makes me happy. If you could see me right now, you'd see I have a huge dopey smile on my face.

I know. I'm a mess.

Evidently, a messy love life is my birthright. This was news to me, of course. Until recently, all I'd ever known was that the couples around me are all happy. My parents are madly in love. My Grandpa Miles adores his wife Mama Steph. Old John Frye is happiest when Mrs. Frye is close. The Pittmans still hold hands when they walk through the market. See what I mean?

All, I've ever known is Happily Ever After.

Just recently, I learned that some of these stories didn't start out quite so rosy and perfect as I would have expected. When Dixie and I first found the blue box wrapped with a long red ribbon, we had no idea what might be inside or why it was hidden in the back of Mom's closet. I'm pretty sure Dixie was hoping for something more exciting than books and letters when we opened it up.

Dixie is my twin sister. To say we aren't much alike would be an understatement. Well, we do look alike (with long blond curls and blue eyes), and we've been best friends our whole lives, but we couldn't be more different on the inside if we tried.

Anyway, knowing Dixie; she was hoping we'd found a stash of cigarettes or ammo.

My sister is pretty fierce and says what she thinks. Dad says I'm like my Great Grandpa Gene and Dix is just like Grandpa Miles. When Dad first compared her to Grandpa, Dixie turned to him and said, "Dad, don't be a dick." Dad and Grandpa Miles both got a big laugh out of that.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is that while my sister is tough as nails; I'm softer. More of a romantic, I guess. So when I discovered that the box held a treasure trove of family lore, I was excited. Nestled in the box was my Mom's journal, my Grandmother's diary and my Great Grandmother's letters to the man she loved: my Great Grandpa Gene.

Dixie took one look at the contents of the box, rolled her eyes and left the room. She said she had better things to do than read bullshit. I'm guessing she'd have stuck around if she knew what the women in our family liked to write about, but whatever. Her loss.

I started with my Mom's journal, and at first it was a little disgusting to be honest. I adore my parents. I really do. They are amazing, but there are some things I don't like to think about them doing. At all. I did know they enjoy their 'alone time'. Hard to miss that particular fact, at least not if you live in the same house with them. Even though my Dad is kind of old, the way my Mom looks at him… well, I'm pretty sure that part of their relationship has never faded.

I never knew my Grandma, so reading her diary was a little easier – well, except for the Grandpa Miles stuff. Again, another mental image I didn't need. It's hard for me to picture him with anyone other than Mama Steph anyway. They've been together my whole life and Mama Steph is the only Grandmother I've ever known.

By the time I got to my Great Grandma's letters, I was at least mostly prepared for the references to making out in the back seat of a Cadillac and the later more intense scenarios she's detailed in her writing.

I read all of it – three generations of memoirs and letters. Some parts were sad. Other parts made me laugh till my sides ached. Some of the things I learned made my mouth drop open in shock.

They say every family has skeletons in their closet. I'm pretty sure my family has an entire cemetery shoved into ours.

It took nearly a week to get through it all. I had to be sneaky about it because I don't think Mom probably wants me to read this stuff. Also, I didn't want BJ (my little brother) finding any of it. He'd probably figure out ways to make copies and sell them. Grandpa Miles says BJ has the makings of a criminal mastermind. With our family history, I suppose that's worrisome, but mostly my little brother is okay. Just not sure I trust him with any of this.

Besides, I think I want to have a handle on all of it before I share it with anyone (if I decide to share it at all). These women who came before me all had stories to tell. Each one was vividly different, but they all share one obvious theme. They are all about love.

Great Grandma Charlotte was a sweet girl with a pure heart. She loved only one man, my Great Grandpa Gene.

Grandma Rachel's story was more complicated, but then so was she. I've heard some things about her throughout my life. Whispers mostly. I know she was a genius but a troubled one. I know that she and my Mom didn't always get along and I know that my Dad hated her. Thanks to Grandma Rachel's diary, I now also know that her heart was torn by her love for two Matheson brothers, and that this messy love triangle was always a source of uncertainty for all three of them.

Then there is my Mom's story. It's no secret that she loves my Dad. Their love is probably the most amazing, really. Even after all these years together, they are inseparable. This is in spite of the fact that my Mom slept with my older brother Connor and my Dad slept with my Grandma and also the fact that my Dad is old enough to BE my Grandpa and is best friends with the guy who IS my Grandpa… Yeah, I learned all that from what I found in the box.

Like I said – a whole lot of skeletons.

I'm choosing not to dwell on all the weird shit that's happened in my family though (and believe me, there's a ton). Instead, I choose to focus on the big picture.

Love.

If my Mom and Dad, with their twisted history, could later become a stunning example of everlasting love…well, then there's a chance for people like me too. Right?

Which brings us back to me and the boy I love. Henry is amazing. He's two years younger than me (same age as BJ) and I know you might think that's weird, but he acts older than he is. Besides, as has been established…nobody in my family cares about age. Henry's Mom is a lot older than his Dad is too, so I guess it's not that uncommon anyway. Henry and I have been friends since we were little. He lives just down the street from us with his parents. His folks and mine are long time friends.

When we were in grade school, Henry, Dix and I were always together. Mom called us the Three Musketeers. As we grew older, that never changed. Well, this last year, Dixie has pulled away from us some. I think she's figured out that I'm crazy about Henry and she wants to give us space. It might also have something to do with her wanting to spend more time with the new cook at the diner, but I like to think it's because she cares.

Dixie can be a real bitch sometimes, but when she wants to, my sister can be pretty awesome too.

Just earlier this evening, we were all at the Happy Place. Dix was at the counter, talking to the new cook. Henry and I were sitting in Dad's favorite booth (which has a whole new meaning for me now that I read Mom's journal, but I won't dwell on that now). We were playing Scrabble and talking quietly.

"You gotta see this, Mace." Henry whispered, his brown eyes sparkling. He kept glancing toward where Dixie was sitting on a barstool, her elbows propped up on the chipped Formica counter top.

"What?"

"Dix is really flirting with that guy. Pretty sure she's leaning over like she is so that he can look down her shirt."

"No way," I said with a frown, but then I remembered who we're talking about. With my sister, anything is possible. I turned to look over my shoulder, and got a swift kick under the table.

"Don't turn around like that, Captain Obvious. Just come sit by me. We can play better side by side anyway, and then we can watch discreetly."

I hesitated for just a moment and then did as Henry had suggested. Sliding into the booth next to him filled my stomach with butterflies. He's very handsome with a crooked smile and thick brown hair. He's tall and wiry. Dad says he clearly takes after his mother.

I don't care who he takes after. When he looks at me with that smile, my heart melts. So, we played Scrabble and watched Dixie make a fool out of herself. But then again, she seems to be getting what she wants, so maybe she isn't making a fool of herself after all?

We watched them for a while. From what we could tell, they have made plans for the weekend. That's all good and well, as long as she can keep it a secret from Dad and Grandpa Miles. Neither of them ever approve of the boys Dixie likes. The good news on that front is that they focus so much on her love life, they don't even think about mine.

Not that I have one, exactly. Not yet anyway.

The thing is, tonight in the diner, as time passed, something shifted. While Henry and I were playing Scrabble, we slowly edged our way closer together in the booth. I think that we were both pretending it was so we could hear each other's whispers better, but when our thighs touched, I felt a jolt of heat. I looked up to see if he'd felt it too. I'm sure that he had. His eyes were on mine and he wasn't smiling anymore. His expression was tense but also…hungry. Also, he wasn't moving his leg, but then, neither was I.

It was his turn, and he carefully placed his tiles on the spaces, spelling out the word CHEMISTRY.

When my turn came up, my choice was FATE.

Our eyes locked again and I swear time stopped. Henry leaned in just a fraction. My breath held as he moved closer still, eliminating the space between us. Under the table, his hand found mine as he moved in.

The first brush of his lips against mine felt like ice and fire all at once. I squeezed his fingers, assuring him without words that this is what I wanted.

He squeezed back.

"About damn time." Dixie's voice jolted us both back to reality. Breathing heavily, I glared at my sister. She was standing next to our table now, smirking, with one arm wrapped around the new cook's waist.

I glanced at Henry and could tell he looked as flustered as I felt. Angrily, I whirled to face my twin once more. "WHAT is about damn time?"

"You two, of course. Everyone knows you are made for each other. I'm just glad I was here to witness the moment when things finally came together." She left her man to move closer to me and dipped down to whisper in my ear. "Love you, Sis. If he hurts you, just let me know. I'll string him up by his balls and then I'll tell Dad or Grandpa Miles, or hell - both of them. They'll have a blast reliving the old days." Dixie winked at me, but by the tone of her voice I knew she was serious. In fact, I'm pretty sure she'd help the retired Generals do their thing.

Henry rolled his eyes. "I'm right here, Dixie. I can hear you."

She nodded curtly in his direction, before heading toward the door with her new guy. "That was the plan," Dixie called over her shoulder. "Treat her right, Henry Pittman. I only have the one sister."

Henry smiled at me then, but suddenly everything felt awkward. My mind was racing as I thought about the kiss. Then my mind wandered to the women in my family who had fallen in love before me. Sometimes it was smooth. Sometimes rough.

One thing I think I've learned from reading their stories…. When love knocks on your door, you kind of have to open it. You HAVE to.

I scooted closer and looked up into his eyes. "Where were we?" I whispered.

Henry leaned down to kiss me again, and this time, just before his lips touched mine, he said. "That's easy, Maisi. We're at the beginning. The future is wide open for us."

And so it is.

**END**

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 **A/N That's it folks! I hope you enjoyed this story. It went a little long compared to most of my fics, but I did have a lot of fun with it. If you have a moment, please leave a comment. Your thoughts are always much appreciated. -Lemo** n


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